Norm!

Have you ever, or are you currently, a regular at any restaurant, gym, or other place? If you have never been a regular, it might be an interesting social experiment for yourself this year. Although I am a firm believer in trying new things and going new places, it might be a good idea to have a home base place. It doesn't have to be a bar. I'm not necessarily suggesting that we all become like Norm on Cheers. But it sure is nice to have a place "where everybody knows your name."

I remember some regulars from my waitressing days. Twenty years later, however, I remember the weird ones the most: The Oatmeal Man, The Fly, Crazy Charlie.






Having a public home base has it's advantages.
You have a great place to meet up with friends.
You are likely to get special deals or services.
If you keep going long enough, something interesting is bound to happen.
You get to say, "I'll have the usual."


How do you become a regular?
Obviously the first step would be going to that place regularly.
Behaving well, with kindness and good tipping will help the staff remember you.
Not being high maintenance helps too.

Do you have any tips or stories about becoming a regular?
Where are you a regular?

Single in Church

It is wonderful that so many religious organizations have organized singles ministries because it is often difficult to be single in your worship community. Being single often creates unique needs in your faith community. Effective Singles Ministries address those needs.

Although churches intend to nurture all their members, it is often an emotional strain to see so many families collaborating at church when your marriage just came to its untimely demise due to death or divorce. Often, sympathetic support feels like pity and the pressure to re-marry is poorly timed. Empathetic righteous outrage may feel encouraging or destructive. In many Christian churches, so much emphasis is placed on the spiritual relationship of husbands and wives, that suddenly finding yourself solo can make you feel like a bass gasping on the sand. It seems easier to drop out for a while.

What have your experiences been? How did your faith community help? Did anything happen that you would like to share as a cautionary tale to religious leaders? (We need to walk the line here on being specific enough to be helpful and vague enough to avoid libel.)

Local Singles Group Invitation

Any Catholic singles reading? Or singles interested in meeting Catholic singles?

Our Lady of the Fields Catholic Church in Millersville has an active singles group called Anne Arundel Single Again Catholics (AASAC). Here are three events they have planned for February, if you want to mark your calendars. If anyone goes to one of these, please let us know how it was.

February 12th at 7pm
Discussion on "Developing Meaningful Relationships"
in Our Lady of Fields Parish Hall, Room 203-204.
Our guest speaker will be Ms. Diane Dixon.
Interested contact Jeanne 410-437-3619.

February 1st at 7:00 pm
AASAC Game Night will be February 1st at 7:00 pm
in Rooms 203-204 on the second floor of Our Lady of the Fields Church Hall, This is our regular monthly get together for games and to enjoy a fun evening with friends. Most "game-nighters" usually bring along a snack or a non-alcoholic drink to share. Interested contact Jeanne 410-437-3619.

February 28th at 7:00 p.m.
AASAC Singles making sandwiches for the poor
in the kitchen at Our Lady of the Fields Church. We need Tuna, chicken, mayo, relish or a box of sandwich bags to make this monthly endeavor a SUCCESS. This is especially helpful if you are unable to come by and make the sandwiches with us. There will be a box available for your contributions under the sink in room 203.
Interested contact Patsy 443-799-0608.

Minor Missions

I see from our poll that most of our regular bloggers have had some time to adjust to single life. How well we are doing at that varies widely. This probably depends a lot on why you are single and how you define "well".

Do you still feel some pride when you tackle a task that your previous significant other always handled? It could be big, or it could be small. Or when you simply took on a problem that you would usually pass on to someone else - and you did it.

For example, having started out in Plan A as a fairly traditional household, I had never mastered the fine art of grilling. I had hardly ever grilled. I missed it, so I had to learn.

My first attempts drew a candid, "it's not as good as Daddy's." I was determined to do better.
The last time I served steaks, they were hailed as delicious. Another minor mission accomplished.

Next?

Free at Last

Whether or not you intended to be single at this point in your life, your new status gives you a chance for a "do-over." Once you have recovered from the shock of the change, you can start again. Undoubtedly, you will make mistakes, but will they be the same ones or new mistakes? Some mistakes are too fun to only make once. Some mistakes you don't even realize you have made.

Today this country is celebrating Dr. King's birthday. I can't help but think of how far this country has come in accepting people of other races - and how far we have yet to go. I think it takes a new generation to really bring about change. My children are much more open. I'm glad they go to a racially diverse school. I hope things will improve even more when they are in charge.

Now that you have been handed the opportunity to date again, perhaps decades after the last time you dated, would you consider dating outside of your race? If you have, how did that affect your relationship? I think it would be sad to never consider half the world based solely on skin pigmentation. Inter-racial relationships are quite common and, from my vantage point, they seem to be more accepted than ever before.

What has been your experience?

Mystery Barstool Contest

Let's see who is watching the clock tick to five on Friday... but first, a story.

I went into my daughter's class this week for career day to discuss the various careers in publishing. For my visual aid I brought in a class set of magazines. The children were bright, attentive, and polite, asking thoughtful questions when given the chance. After I answered half a dozen questions or so, I called on a little girl in the back of the room who was looking at my column.

"What's the Mystery Barstool Contest?" she wanted to know.

Not your typical moment in 4th grade.

So here is the January installment of our Mystery Barstool Contest. For those of you just tuning in, this is a contest for grown-ups (21 & older please.) If you can identify the restaurant that is home to this barstool, you will win a gift certificate to the establishment.

This one should present a challenge.

Tripping the Light Fantastic

If you were at last Friday’s LA Singles Dance in the Bowie Knights of Columbus Hall and noticed a lot of new faces, that’s because the Suburban Singles Scene joined this renowned dance that has been running every Friday for almost twenty years. We joined singles from the Crofton area and ranging from St. Mary’s and Upper Marlboro, to Columbia and Ellicott City. Changing Focus singles support group also had a big crowd in attendance and another singles group, Bowie Area Singles. Close to three hundred energetic singles were twirling and tripping their fantastic toes around that huge dance floor.

To the inexperienced eye, it appeared that couples were everywhere at this singles dance. But the youngest girl on the dance floor shook her head and shouted over the music, “No, these older guys just really know how to dance!”

Now to her, older probably meant thirty, but whatever their age, she was right about these dancers. Although there were plenty of opportunities for the untrained dancers in the room, there were a few guys who could make anyone look like a pro. A couple of my dancer partners had me twirling like Ginger. What a workout!

Another regular on the dance floor, Irene Herman, kindly recognized my need for dance instruction when it came time for a line dance called “Booty Call.” She showed me the finer points. She was a great teacher, having won a dance contest in November. When I whined that I didn’t have the hip shake down as well as she did, she suggested I wear a swingy skirt to make my shake more dramatic. Sounds like a wonderful reason to go shopping.

LA Singles Founder and president, Stephen Evan, was a delightful host, greeting old and new guests alike, as was Enar Sanders, the Publicity Chairman. They have enjoyed watching the dance grow in popularity and spoke of the contests and theme nights that they plan for the dance. One tradition is a standing moment of respect to listen and sing along to a moving rendition of God Bless America in honor of our men and women in the armed forces.

Mr. Sanders pointed out the recently engaged Jack Staud and Judy Youngblood, who were sitting at the table where they met three years earlier at one of the LA Singles Dances. Friends came up to congratulate them as Mr. Staud said with a sweet grin, “We got engaged at Christmas because I couldn’t wait until Valentine’s Day.”

While the dance floor filled up for the Electric Slide, Mr. Staud, who has been a regular to the dance for over 12 years, explained how he met his fiancée, “She came over and asked me to dance. I’m kind of shy.”

To learn more about LA Singles Dances, visit their website at www.lasinglesbwa.com. To participate in the Suburban Singles Scene, visit us online at our Suburban Singles Blog at www.suburbansingles.blogspot.com, or watch for the singles column in Suburban Scene’s monthly print magazine.

Who can come out to play on Friday night?

I hope many of you already marked your calendars to come have some fun this Friday night, January 11th at the LA Singles Dance held from 8:30pm -1am. The dance is held in the Knights of Columbus Hall on the northbound side of Route 3 in Bowie, between the Science & Tech Center and route 450.

If you've never been before, there is always a crowd and they are always dancing. The music will be played by a disc jockey, although they sometimes do have live music. There is a $9 entry fee and a cash bar. They do have a no-jeans rule. The music is a range of classic oldies and recent pop hits. A wide age range attends.

I can't guarantee I'm staying until 1am, but the organizers have designated two tables with red & blue tablecloths to help us find each other. I'll be there at the beginning, greeting friends, but later you will likely find me dancing. I have some holiday calories to burn! I hope you all join me on the dance floor.

I've already heard from several who are planning to attend. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions. I know many of you have been to this dance before or are even regulars. So stop over and say hello. Let me introduce you to someone new.

Buckle down and work hard this week so you can come out and play this Friday!
See you there!

February's Column

I hope everyone survived the joy, heartache, and romance of the holiday season. Are you finding storage space for all your newly acquired property? It's hard to ignore all those piles when you work from home. Anybody ready to tackle healthier choices?

I came back from a lovely holiday to write my next column for the print magazine's February issue: Planning a Local Wedding. Apparently, there are folks around us who are planning on getting married, despite all evidence to the contrary.




I thought: I bet you guys all have good stories to share about the first time you had to attend a wedding after the traumatic ending of a significant relationship.

How was that different or difficult?
Any funny stories, suggestions, or cautionary tales?
Was it different for the divorced, widowed, and never marrieds?
How are those differences similar?

Maybe your comments will be in the Singles Column in the February issue.

(As a side note, I am bumping my planned Single in Church column up another month. It has been difficult to do the necessary research during the holiday season and I want to present more local information.)