Dating Gone Badly

Were you ever on a date and you knew immediately that this was not the person for you? Maybe it was a rapid series of rising red flags. Are you far enough from it to laugh about it now?

Here's one of my stories...
I tried a date with a man who was a soccer coach. It was a second date in the afternoon and a bit unscheduled. I knew he had to coach in the evening, but he arrived at noon at my house - in his coaching attire. I had dressed pretty casual, but not in jersey knit elastic waisted shorts and a t-shirt.

But ok, I tried to be optimistic. I don't mean to be superficial. We decided on lunch and an Adam Sandler movie. Before departing my house, he used my restroom and picked up a little book I had in there entitled "What Every Woman Should Do Once." He thought it would be a fun conversation starter over lunch. Ok, why not.

When we got in his car, he asked if I would mind if he carried a "man purse." He said he needed it since he didn't have pockets. I was wondering why he chose shorts with no pockets. I offered to carry his wallet in my purse. The shorts were bad enough. I couldn't do the man-purse too.

He flipped through the book at the restaurant. He didn't know what it meant to "Go Commando." Neither had he ever heard of the "Kama Sutra." Not good signs. I wasn't going to tell him. But OK, maybe he had just been sheltered.

After the movie I asked if we could stop in the book store. I had been wanting to add some classic jazz to my collection: Ella, Billie, or Cab. He put on some of those headphones and had the store stereo play Billy Joel. He couldn't help himself; he had to sing and dance. Like many people with headphones on, he was neither aware of how loud he was, nor the fact that he didn't really know the words.

I knew for sure then. I can overlook one flaw, even two or three. I'm sure there is a lid for this pot, but mine wasn't going to fit.