All Good Things...

...must come to an end.

I am sorry to let you all know that this will be my last post. The magazine has decided to discontinue this feature, including the blog, column, and events. I apologize for any disappointment or inconvenience. It has been such a fun and rewarding year getting to know you all. I hope to run into you at some of our favorite local watering holes.

If you are looking for a good group in which to find support during a time personal crisis, I recommend Changing Focus. They meet in a few different locations and times and have a great social network. Also Singles on Sailboats sounds like a fun way to get out there and do something good for yourself while meeting other singles.

Best wishes to you all.
Fondly,
Ann

Dances & Contests

We had fun at the LA Singles dance last Friday. It was good to see several familiar faces plus many new people learning about the Suburban Singles Scene. As usual, the dance hall was crowded and the dance floor was full. I tried my first Paul Jones dance, which was a fun way to meet new dance partners. Ladies, there are many men at this singles venue. The age range at the LA Singles dance is wide, probably swinging from 30-70 with the bulk between 45-65. Although there are many trained dancers on the floor, there are just am many untrained, freestyle dancers like me.

Thanks to Enar Sanders for arranging for the discount at the door and the table for us. This dance is held every Friday night. If you haven't checked it out yet, put it on your to do list for this spring.

* * * * * * *

I'd like to remind you all of the Blind Date Contest running this month. Applications are still being accepted. You will see a link on the sidebar for details. I have been sorting through the applications received so far and am thinking we may need to double the opportunities. I will let you know what I can arrange.

* * * *

Since Mike & Ava have temporarily bowed out of the Mystery Barstool Contest, this month's barstool has not yet been identified. JohnJM has made two good guesses, and has been close, but not quite right. Anyone else want to try? This would be an excellent week to receive this prize! Here it is again.

Modern Marriage

A friend sent me the link below from an old coffee ad. Boy have we come far in our modern marriages - or have we? What irks you most about this video clip?

Dance this Friday night

Who is going to join us at the LA Singles Dance at the Knights of Columbus this Friday? LA Singles is a long-standing singles dance non-profit organization. Although there are some great dancers at this venue, there is opportunity for every dance level. Lots of open dance partners available.

We're going to have a table near the door. LA Singles opens their doors 8:15. The DJ usually starts by 8:30. I won't get there until 9pm. Look for our table and stop by and say hello. If you haven't signed up for the e-mail reminder list and the Suburban Scene weekly e-newsletter, be sure to sign our list.

If you say you are with Suburban Scene, you will get a dollar off your entry fee! There is a cash bar and free pretzels & chips.

I need to work on some of my line dances and this place is full of helpful guides. I'm looking forward to a fun night. Wear your good dancing shoes!

Mystery Barstool Contest

Here's one that is sure to be a challenge. Have I stumped you this time?

In a gesture of gentlemanly sportsmanship, Lucky Mike is bowing out of the competition. We're going to establish a new rule to the contest: you can only win once every six months.

So to win the Mystery Barstool Contest, you have to be the first commenter who correctly identifies the public establishment that is home to this barstool. (Sorry Mike, Ava, Precarious Girl. Money Girl can get back in the game though.)

Kissing in Doorways

The Baltimore-Washington Parkway is about to be in leaf, and on this misty spring morning, it looked beautiful. I hope all my friends who moved away from here have such pretty drives in their new clime. I didn’t even make any mobile phone calls, so I could enjoy the pretty ride home from a magazine assignment up in the Baltimore suburbs.

The B-W Parkway is so pretty, in part because of the preserved land on the sides. You can look beyond the shoulders and see streams and forest. It gives you a glimpse of what this town looked like before we were so civilized. I’m always happy to see land we haven’t paved over yet.

I was listening to music on this pretty drive and was prompted to think about the times I have kissed someone in a doorway. When I was 15, a farm boy I dated kissed me good night on my parents’ front porch. I leaned back against the house and rang the door bell.

Other times I have been the one going away. Sometimes I am the one going inside. I love when you both go inside together - or away together.

I think kissing in doorways implies a change. Do you remember who you have kissed in a doorway? Did the direction to which each of you parted describe something about your relationship? Which kisses stand out the brightest in your memory: the parting kisses or the greeting kisses?

Blogaversary

I let my one year anniversary of this blog slip by. My first post was March 14th of 2007. This is my 109th post, so I let that mile marker slip by too. But I am going to catch the one year anniversary of my print column. I am about to turn in my 12th column. The first one ran in May of 2007. (We only print 11 issues a year, combining July & August into one edition.)

Some of you are new readers of the blog and column. Some of you have been with me for a while. In this first year, this endeavor evolved to include events hosted by local businesses for singles. I have met hundreds of local singles.

My goal with this blog-column combo is to offer some no-strings-attached support to people adapting to living an unmarried life for a variety of reasons. Whether or not your single status is deliberate and welcome, or an emotional upheaval, I want to encourage you to find peace, and maybe even happiness in your current status. I want to encourage you to expand your experiences and meet new people, whether or not they are your soul mates or true loves. I want you to know you are not all alone.

I have tried to create some fun and even daring possibilities for you with the monthly Mystery Barstool Contest and our latest project, a Blind Date Contest.

Many of you have shared ideas for events and topics for discussion. I have tried to include these when at all possible.

What have you enjoyed about the column, the blog, and the events? What ideas would you like to see me incorporate?

Physical Fitness

We've had many conversations shoring up each other's emotional well being, but today I'd like to talk about your physical well being. What do you do to keep in shape? Have you ever begun an interesting relationship while working out? The time you have to exercise depends greatly on the age and number of children you have. Do you consider time spent playing with your kids as exercise?

When I get a bit of unscheduled time, I often try to take a walk with a friend. It allows me to catch up on a relationship while improving my health. Don't get me wrong, I love to go out for sushi and saketinis, but sometimes a long walk is a healthier choice. Warm weather helps too.

I have walked around the fields around my son's lacrosse practice or during my daughter's dance lessons on occasion. I try to get to yoga, but my evening schedule is often interrupted.

Do you feel your fitness level is more important because you are single? First impressions are critical. No matter how enlightened we think we may be, we do care what someone looks like to an extent. Fitness shows how we value ourselves. I'd like this body to last for three or four more decades too, so I need to do what I can to increase my mileage.

Aside from working out, what else do you do to be healthy?
Does playing Guitar Hero count as exercise?

April Print Edition

Have you seen the April issue of the print edition of Suburban Scene magazine? A bunch of the great chatter about pets made it into my column. Thanks! I'm hoping to see some new folks joining our conversation about next month's topic: fitness.

I wrote two other articles in this month's edition. One was on Fidos for Freedom, a wonderful non-profit group that trains service dogs. If you love dogs and have some free time you are looking to use for a noble cause, this is the group for you.

Also, I wrote an article about a singles group based in Annapolis, but reaching all around the Bay called Singles on Sailboats. Did you see it? What a fun group! You don't have to have any sailing experience or a boat, just a desire to learn. They give you training and you get to participate on as many of the 31 planned sails as you can. Be sure to let me know if you try them out. It seems like a wonderful way to make the most of your Maryland experience while meeting singles that you might not encounter otherwise.

Be sure to notice the Community Choice Awards ballot on page 8. Let's be sure to support our corporate sponsors. Check out my sidebar listing for hints.

Trivia Contest from March Madness Mixer

In the excitement of the mixer, I never really announced the answers to the Trivia Contests. Sorry about that. Next time, I'll have a microphone.

Here are the questions. I'll post the answers in the comments section if you want to test yourself. We had two categories of questions for our March Madness Mixer:NCAA basketball playoffs, and "Madness."

1. In 2007, which state sent three schools to the NCAA Sweet Sixteen?

2. In 2007 who played Florida for the championship game?

3. In March Madness 2006, what college had both Men's and Women's teams in the Final Four?

4. In March Madness 2006, who upset North Carolina in the second round?

5. In March Madness 2005, who did North Carolina beat in the elite eight to advance to the final four?

6. Which #1 seed was the only #1 seed to make it to the Final Four in 2004?

7. Who was NOT in the first of the Hannibal Lechter trilogy? Sir Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore, Scott Glenn or Jodie Foster?

8. In the movie Psycho, where in Arizona does the movie begin? Phoenix, Flagstaff, or Tucson?

9. Along with Alice and the Mad Hatter, what other character of the book attended the tea party in Alice of Wonderland: Queen of Hearts, the Mock Turtle, the March Hare, or the Cheshire-Cat?

10. What singer’s concert tour in the late 1970’s was titled Divine Madness? Barbara Streisand, Bette Midler, Diana Ross, or Aretha Franklin?

11. In the 1960’s star-powered film “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”, which movie star played the police sergeant in charge of the treasure hunt investigation? Micky Rooney, Sid Ceasar, Milton Berle, or Spencer Tracy?

12. Who starred in the low-budget 1979 Austalian film “Mad Max”?

Picture of Lisa B. winning a door prize at the Mixer last Thursday.

Fun Night

We sure had fun at the mixer at Ledo's last night. About 50 local singles turned out to enjoy the game, pizza, and beer. I was happy to see some familiar faces and a bunch of new ones. That's one of the great things about singles events: the collection of people is constantly changing. You never know who you are going to meet. You certainly increase your chances of meeting someone new by getting out of your routine. So thank you to all of you who came out and had some fun. Everyone was a good sport about the nametags and our Madness Matching game. I'd like to thank the owners of Ledo Pizza in Crofton as well as the Hops & Vines owners who poured our beer tasting. Our waitresses, Colleen, Beth, & Megan, also did a wonderful job.

The Trivia Contest turned out to be a bigger challenge than I anticipated. But the highest scorers all won door prizes to make up for their frustration. I promise the next contest will be more achievable. I thought it was hard because I'm not a big basketball fan. Everyone did better on the Madness section of the quiz.

The Matching Game was a way to get people talking to each other in order to guess who was on their back and who their match was. Almost all of the pairs were actors and the mad character they portrayed. A harder match than we anticipated was Jack Nicholson's character from "The Shining." Does anyone remember the name of his character? How about the pscho femme fatale played by Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction"?

If you are just joining our blog conversation after last night's event, we all welcome you and invite you to share your comments. Stay tuned for updates on local single events, contests, and enjoyable conversation with local singles who get it.

March Madness Mixer Tomorrow!

I hope you are all making plans to attend our March Madness Mixer at Ledo Pizza in Crofton tomorrow from 6-9:30. The restaurant is in the plaza on the South side of Rte 3 behind the Dunkin Donuts. We are expecting a crowd, so carpool if you can.

The beer tasting, sponsored by Hops & Vines, will be from 6:30-8:30. I'm planning on ordering my dinner there, since Ledo's is giving us 25% off our bill. I love Ledo Pizza, but they have healthier choices on the menu if you are not throwing your diet to the wind like I plan to do.

We have a challenging trivia contest that has an interactive component for those of you who are feeling a brave enough to play along. It will be fun.

So do you collaborate with a friend on what to wear when you are going out? I imagine women do this more than men. Do men ever ask a friend what they are wearing? But it is a casual, beer & pizza event, so jeans are in order. I'm sure everyone will be looking fine with all the fine singles in attendance.

I'm looking forward to meeting some of the folks I've been e-mailing with, especially our blind date contestants. I won't point out who has applied, but it will be easier for me to find select a compatible date once I've met you.

See you tomorrow!

Exes

When you have been single for years in one location, you increase your chances of running into an ex in town. "Exes" might be too strong of a word because it implies there was a relationship that ended. Sometimes, it might be an attempted relationship that never got very far off the ground. For me, the likelihood of running into such a person is inversely proportionate to the amount of effort I have put into my appearance. True for you?

Once, I was cramming a slice of pizza into my mouth at a stoplight on a rush to a story I was covering. I heard a beep from the next car and looked over to see an old boyfriend waving at me. perfect.

But the awkwardness factor depends more on the manner in which the relationship ended. Was this person an embarrassing one night stand? How honest were you? How mutual was the break up? How often do you see each other? Where are you running into this person, and who are you with at the time? Do you avoid certain locations or events so that you don't run into someone?

Based on some of those awkward moments, have you developed rules for yourself - Like no dating co-workers, or only in Las Vegas? No eating at stop lights. No flirting at church. No giving out of phone numbers after two margaritas. No sweatpants at the grocery store.

What are your self-imposed rules? What have you learned from your most awkward moments?

Profiles Anyone?

I am always curious about my readers and commenters. If you ever have a few minutes to spare between tasks at your computer, I'd love it if you added some details to your profiles. You get a profile when you register to comment. You can start your own blog, or just list your favorite music or interests. One of my favorite features is the random question, which you can keep changing until you find one you'd like to answer. You can still remain anonymous. You can arrange for an e-mail link or not. I keep peaking to see if you have revealed anything for us to ponder.

Speaking of Barstools

I have been tasked with writing an article for Suburban Scene's upcoming Crofton Community Guide about the top ten places in the Crofton area to meet singles. I have some ideas, but would like to hear what you all think. Where do you like to go to meet new single people? Where do you and your single friends like to hang out? Why do you like those places?

Mystery Barstool Contest

The March installment of the area's most fun contest is here. Anyone recognize this barstool? I look forward to awarding the winner a $25 gift certificate at the March Madness Mixer in less than two weeks. All you have to do is be the first commenter to correctly identify the home of this barstool.
Good luck!

How do you feel about nametags?

I am planning some of the details for our March Madness Mixer coming up in just a couple of weeks on Thursday the 27th at the Crofton Ledo's from 6-9:30pm. Have you been in that restaurant? They are giving us that back area, that is almost a separate room. I've been getting lots of inquiries, so I'm expecting a big crowd. I think we'll set a new record. You might want to carpool.

Anyway, I was wondering how you feel about wearing nametags. I know that I often feel rebellious and don't want to wear them, although I have been bailed out more than once by a person's nametag. When you are meeting lots of people, and especially if you are a little bit nervous, they can be a saving grace. I think I will have them available as an option. Of course I can't make anyone wear them. I'm not your mom.

And while we're at it, how do you feel about mixer type games? Anything about those that you love or hate? I was thinking about a kind of matching game.

Print Magazine

Thanks for all the great chatter on the pets topic. You practically wrote my column for the April edition for me. Watch for your quotes! May will be about fitness, so that conversation is coming your way soon.

Did you see the March edition? On the page right before my column is an article I wrote about Jerry's Seafood. Wow was that a delicious assignment!

Right beside my column is the CarterWorx guest column by the contractors I've used inside and out of my home. Beautiful work this company does.

Did you see that our Community Choice ballots are coming next month? Start thinking about your favorite businesses in this community. There is also a new Reader Recruitment Program listed inside the back cover that could be rewarding.

A few announcements...

Here are a few fun opportunities to meet new people locally:


CO-ED ADULT FOOTBALL LEAGUE ANNOUNCES SPRING SIGN-UPS
The co-ed adult Football League of Bowie (FLOB) announces its spring 2008 season. Games will be held on Saturdays at Foxhill Park in Bowie during April, May, and June. FLOB is a two-hand touch, no tackling football league. To sign-up individually or with a team, a happy hour will be held on Friday, March 7, 2008 from 6 to 9 p.m. at Glory Days Grill in Bowie.

For more information about FLOB, please contact the league via e-mail at footballbowie@gmail.com or visit www.footballbowie.com. Secure online registration is available.

OR

Anne Arundel Single Again Catholics (AASAC)
March 10th discussion on "Developing Meaningful Relationships" at 7:00 p.m. in Our Lady of Fields Parish Hall, Room 203-204. Our guest speaker will be Brother Loughlan Sofield. Interested contact Jeanne 410-437-3619.

March 7th Game Night at 7:00 pm in Rooms 203-204 on the second floor of Our Lady of the Fields Church Hall, 1070 Cecil Avenue South, Millersville. This is our regular monthly get together for games and a fun evening with friends. Most "game-nighters" usually bring along a snack or a non-alcoholic drink to share. Interested contact Jeanne 410-437-3619.

AASAC Singles making sandwiches for the poor on March 27th at 7:00 p.m. in the kitchen at Our Lady of the Fields Church in Millersville. Interested contact Patsy 443-799-0608.

Here Kitty Kitty

Do you have a pet?

I have a cat. I was married to a "no pets" guy and we resisted the two biggies. We (and by "we", I mean "I") did cave in to guinea pigs once. But they were such a mess and smelly too. So I ended up building them a hutch in the garage. Out of sight was out of mind. No one checked on those poor rodents but me. We finally found them a better home and I was relieved. They were too much work.

I read a book called "Simplify Your Life With Kids" by Elaine St. James. The chapter on pets said something like this:
If you want to simplify your life, don't get a pet. If you must get a pet, don't get a dog. Getting a dog is like having a child permanently trapped at age three.
She went on to explain that cats were the least maintenance of pets. I grew up with cats and didn't remember any problems with peeing on the carpets that I am so familiar with now. Maybe that's because it wasn't my carpet.

After the dad left our home, I decided to allow my children to get kittens. We were all gloomy and who wouldn't be cheered by a kitten? We all went together and picked out two fluffy grays. We named them after cartoon villains: Mojo Jojo, and Rocko Socko. Those two felines were very therapeutic for us.

How has being single affected your relationship with or desire for a pet? Do they play a more important role in your life, or are they a bigger nuisance?

Singles on Ice

We had fun Friday night at our Leap Day Skating event. I'm happy to report that there were no injuries. I even tried the skating, but only went around the ice for one lap due to the discomfort of my new ankle hardware. Mike got the most for his money, skating almost constantly, and with considerable grace.

Mike was awarded his Mystery Barstool prize from February's TJ Elliott's picture. Ava wasn't present, but I still have her award for the Sly Horse Tavern.

Although we had more initial interest, we had a small crowd. That didn't stop us from enjoying ourselves. Next time I just need to give more advanced notice. We'll try it again next winter.

Our next events:
March Madness Mixer on Thursday, March 27 at the Ledo's in Crofton at Eddie's Place.
Suburban Singles Night at the LA Singles Dance - Friday, April 18th
May will feature our Blind Date Contest
June details are in the works for a night at TJ Elliot's

Top Ten Warning Signs of Good Health

I was thinking about what it is that most people are looking for in a potential romantic partner and I saw this list at a friend's house. I can't determine the original source, but it was a description that I thought you'd like to hear.

Top Ten Warning Signs of Good Health
1. Persistent sense of humor
2. Sense of spiritual involvement
3. Increased appetite for physical activity
4. Persistent presence of support network
5. Tendency to adapt to changing situations
6. Repeated episodes of gratitude and generosity
7. Episodic outbreaks of joyful, happy experiences
8. Tendency to identify and communicate feelings
9. Rapid recovery of stress response systems to repeated challenges
10. Chronic positive expectations and a tendency to frame events in a constructive light.


Isn't that who you'd like to meet - for a friend or a partner: someone healthy?

Blind Dating Fun

Speaking of the Sly Horse Tavern...
The owner of the elegant and delicious Sly Horse Tavern has made us a lovely offer. He has offered us a dinner for two gift certificate to be used for a blind date that we will cover in the Suburban Singles Scene. Fun, huh?

So we are officially kicking off our first Blind Date Contest for the Suburban Singles Scene. We'll accept applications through April, with the date planned for early May.

Applying means that you are willing to be photographed on the date for the blog and the magazine and that you are willing to share your thoughts in anticipation of the date and shortly after the date. The blind date will be the subject of the June column in the magazine.

Entries will be stored for possible future installments of the contest. Applications will be sorted by subjective review of a panel of yet-to-be chosen matchmakers with margaritas.

If you want to be considered, you need to send an e-mail to me at ann@suburbanscene.net with the following information:
Name & phone number
General physical description: age, race, height, fitness level
(photo attachments welcome but not required)
General education/employment information
Residential history (Where you live now, where you are from originally)
Preferences and deal breakers
What you are hoping for if you win (aside from a delicious dinner and minor local celebrity)
Anything else you want us to know.


In the meantime, anyone want to regale us with a story or tidbit about a blind dating adventure? My parents, who have been married for 47 years, met on a blind date - proof that they can work out great. I never went on a true blind date and I haven't tried the computer services, so I'm low on these stories myself.

Mystery Barstool Contest

I hope none of you have seen this barstool from this angle. Let's see if Mike is watching the blog on the weekend!

For those of you new to the game, if you can identify the location of this barstool based on the picture, you win a $25 gift certificate to the establishment.

Leap Day Skating

I don't know if you noticed the sidebar announcement or not, but we are having a skating party. The Piney Orchard Ice Rink in Odenton will give us the group skating rate on Friday, February 29th from 8:10-10pm. Just say you are with the Suburban Scene group when you pay at the door. Admission will be $4.00(regular price $6:50) and the skate rental fee will be $2.50 instead of the regular $3.00. You are welcome to bring your children. I'll have one in tow, straight from a Girl Scout cookie booth in Crofton.

Have you heard about the Leap Year folk traditions? Supposedly dating back to the 13th century, women were permitted to make marriage proposals in Leap Years. Men were required to say yes, or to make recompense with a silk dress or a kiss. Hhmmm. Perhaps a Victoria Secret gift card might be the modern equivalent. They narrowed it down to just Leap Day because I guess things got quickly out of hand when women could choose for themselves. So I guess it is a bit of a Ladies Night.

I've also heard that ice skating is a great place to pick someone up. That someone might be me, splayed on the ice. I have alerted my Aflac agent. Ice skating is great whether you can skate or not: great exercise, great excuse to hold on to someone, great reason to offer someone a hand.

I'm going to start the evening over in the snack bar to welcome our Suburban Scene friends. I'm thinking about distributing a little bit of "flair" for those who do. (Any "Office Space" fans out there?) What do you think about that?

Couples Holidays

I suppose Valentine's Day is the most extreme holiday for couples. New Year's Eve is right up there. I was never really sure what "Sweetest Day" was, except a Hallmark marketing ploy perhaps.
Are you sick of all the diamond commercials yet? Those really irritate me - making women seem shallow and surprised that a man finally stumbled into Jared to buy the same necklace that you'll see on ten women next week.

Pardon my cynicism...
So are you dreading this holiday and the cheerful strangers asking about your plans? I would like to issue a challenge or sorts to those of us who are un-coupled on the penultimate couples' holiday.

Plan to do something on Valentine's Day that will warm someone else's heart. Maybe it is your mom or grandfather, your neighbor or a coworker. Take them a box of chocolate, fruit basket, or flower. Buy your niece a set of new play-doh and sit down for a sculpting session. Send a round of drinks to a table of friends, or a couple celebrating the day. Just make it something unexpected and kind. Hopefully it won't involve shoveling snow.

The last Valentine's Day of my marriage my husband literally phoned it in. I don't even remember where he said he was at the time. Doesn't really matter now. Since then, I tried to make it a special day for my kids. I cooked dinner, although it was probably still Hamburger Helper, and served it on the fancy plates. I used a table cloth and candles. That was a surprise. It was fun. I hope they remember it.

I do buy myself some chocolate though. It's as good a reason as any for a Whitman's Sampler.

How do age differences affect relationships?

Interesting responses on the latest poll:
50% say Love is more important that age
and 50% think that challenges await the May-December relationship.

None of the poll respondents think that there is an unfair double-standard for men and women in relationships with a wide age range. There is Harrison Ford with Calista Flockhart and Demi Moore with Ashton Kutcher. It seems to work for the famous and beautiful.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a wide age range - say 15 years or more? I have dated a few men nearing that age gap. Initially, I wasn't bothered by the difference. Perhaps I wanted to prove to myself that age wasn't my main concern. I wasn't necessarily thinking about the long term implications at the first meeting either.

There are some issues of concern when there is a big age gap in a relationship. At the risk of sounding crass, I suspected that, in some cases, I was going to be a major component of their retirement plan. I think financial stability, or instability, is emphasized with a big age gap. Having a plan for your life is attractive, no matter your age.

Health is another concern that is exaggerated by age. For example, I would not prefer to date a smoker, but might consider a wonderful man who smokes. However, I would be more reluctant to date a man in his sixties who had a decades old, pack-a-day habit. It seems like signing up for heartache. I suppose true love could take on that challenge though. There are no guarantees no matter your age or health or finances anyway.

Maybe you are better that I am at ignoring these concerns and living in the moment. I enjoy dancing with older men. They are often wonderful dancers. If you can relax and enjoy each other without worrying about the dating turning into a marriage, then all that matters is the moments you have. Often that is enough.

I check out the personal ads from time to time. There are usually some guys who are only seeking much younger women. While I appreciate their honesty, I am skeptical about those men. Have you ever heard Andy Rooney's bit about why he loves women over 40?

What about the reverse? I have never been approached by a significantly younger man for a serious relationship. I know a few relationships where the husband is 15 years younger than his wife. One is new and seems happy, one has lasted twenty years and seems to have some ups & downs, and one ended in divorce. Those seem to be pretty standard odds for any relationship.

So I guess I would have to say that the longevity of a relationship seems to depend more on love than age. Every relationship has challenges. Age gaps can cause some and alleviate others.

Super Bowl

What are you guys doing for the big game?

I have had parties in years past - strictly for those who don't love football. We have fun and pay attention to the commercials, sometimes following the game.


This year my son is sick. He's sad to not be able to attend the two or three parties we could have attended. I'm going to watch the game with him. That's cool though. We'll have some bonding time.

How about if you post your reaction to the game or the commercials or the half-time show here? We'll have an e-superbowl party.

Norm!

Have you ever, or are you currently, a regular at any restaurant, gym, or other place? If you have never been a regular, it might be an interesting social experiment for yourself this year. Although I am a firm believer in trying new things and going new places, it might be a good idea to have a home base place. It doesn't have to be a bar. I'm not necessarily suggesting that we all become like Norm on Cheers. But it sure is nice to have a place "where everybody knows your name."

I remember some regulars from my waitressing days. Twenty years later, however, I remember the weird ones the most: The Oatmeal Man, The Fly, Crazy Charlie.






Having a public home base has it's advantages.
You have a great place to meet up with friends.
You are likely to get special deals or services.
If you keep going long enough, something interesting is bound to happen.
You get to say, "I'll have the usual."


How do you become a regular?
Obviously the first step would be going to that place regularly.
Behaving well, with kindness and good tipping will help the staff remember you.
Not being high maintenance helps too.

Do you have any tips or stories about becoming a regular?
Where are you a regular?

Single in Church

It is wonderful that so many religious organizations have organized singles ministries because it is often difficult to be single in your worship community. Being single often creates unique needs in your faith community. Effective Singles Ministries address those needs.

Although churches intend to nurture all their members, it is often an emotional strain to see so many families collaborating at church when your marriage just came to its untimely demise due to death or divorce. Often, sympathetic support feels like pity and the pressure to re-marry is poorly timed. Empathetic righteous outrage may feel encouraging or destructive. In many Christian churches, so much emphasis is placed on the spiritual relationship of husbands and wives, that suddenly finding yourself solo can make you feel like a bass gasping on the sand. It seems easier to drop out for a while.

What have your experiences been? How did your faith community help? Did anything happen that you would like to share as a cautionary tale to religious leaders? (We need to walk the line here on being specific enough to be helpful and vague enough to avoid libel.)

Local Singles Group Invitation

Any Catholic singles reading? Or singles interested in meeting Catholic singles?

Our Lady of the Fields Catholic Church in Millersville has an active singles group called Anne Arundel Single Again Catholics (AASAC). Here are three events they have planned for February, if you want to mark your calendars. If anyone goes to one of these, please let us know how it was.

February 12th at 7pm
Discussion on "Developing Meaningful Relationships"
in Our Lady of Fields Parish Hall, Room 203-204.
Our guest speaker will be Ms. Diane Dixon.
Interested contact Jeanne 410-437-3619.

February 1st at 7:00 pm
AASAC Game Night will be February 1st at 7:00 pm
in Rooms 203-204 on the second floor of Our Lady of the Fields Church Hall, This is our regular monthly get together for games and to enjoy a fun evening with friends. Most "game-nighters" usually bring along a snack or a non-alcoholic drink to share. Interested contact Jeanne 410-437-3619.

February 28th at 7:00 p.m.
AASAC Singles making sandwiches for the poor
in the kitchen at Our Lady of the Fields Church. We need Tuna, chicken, mayo, relish or a box of sandwich bags to make this monthly endeavor a SUCCESS. This is especially helpful if you are unable to come by and make the sandwiches with us. There will be a box available for your contributions under the sink in room 203.
Interested contact Patsy 443-799-0608.

Minor Missions

I see from our poll that most of our regular bloggers have had some time to adjust to single life. How well we are doing at that varies widely. This probably depends a lot on why you are single and how you define "well".

Do you still feel some pride when you tackle a task that your previous significant other always handled? It could be big, or it could be small. Or when you simply took on a problem that you would usually pass on to someone else - and you did it.

For example, having started out in Plan A as a fairly traditional household, I had never mastered the fine art of grilling. I had hardly ever grilled. I missed it, so I had to learn.

My first attempts drew a candid, "it's not as good as Daddy's." I was determined to do better.
The last time I served steaks, they were hailed as delicious. Another minor mission accomplished.

Next?

Free at Last

Whether or not you intended to be single at this point in your life, your new status gives you a chance for a "do-over." Once you have recovered from the shock of the change, you can start again. Undoubtedly, you will make mistakes, but will they be the same ones or new mistakes? Some mistakes are too fun to only make once. Some mistakes you don't even realize you have made.

Today this country is celebrating Dr. King's birthday. I can't help but think of how far this country has come in accepting people of other races - and how far we have yet to go. I think it takes a new generation to really bring about change. My children are much more open. I'm glad they go to a racially diverse school. I hope things will improve even more when they are in charge.

Now that you have been handed the opportunity to date again, perhaps decades after the last time you dated, would you consider dating outside of your race? If you have, how did that affect your relationship? I think it would be sad to never consider half the world based solely on skin pigmentation. Inter-racial relationships are quite common and, from my vantage point, they seem to be more accepted than ever before.

What has been your experience?

Mystery Barstool Contest

Let's see who is watching the clock tick to five on Friday... but first, a story.

I went into my daughter's class this week for career day to discuss the various careers in publishing. For my visual aid I brought in a class set of magazines. The children were bright, attentive, and polite, asking thoughtful questions when given the chance. After I answered half a dozen questions or so, I called on a little girl in the back of the room who was looking at my column.

"What's the Mystery Barstool Contest?" she wanted to know.

Not your typical moment in 4th grade.

So here is the January installment of our Mystery Barstool Contest. For those of you just tuning in, this is a contest for grown-ups (21 & older please.) If you can identify the restaurant that is home to this barstool, you will win a gift certificate to the establishment.

This one should present a challenge.

Tripping the Light Fantastic

If you were at last Friday’s LA Singles Dance in the Bowie Knights of Columbus Hall and noticed a lot of new faces, that’s because the Suburban Singles Scene joined this renowned dance that has been running every Friday for almost twenty years. We joined singles from the Crofton area and ranging from St. Mary’s and Upper Marlboro, to Columbia and Ellicott City. Changing Focus singles support group also had a big crowd in attendance and another singles group, Bowie Area Singles. Close to three hundred energetic singles were twirling and tripping their fantastic toes around that huge dance floor.

To the inexperienced eye, it appeared that couples were everywhere at this singles dance. But the youngest girl on the dance floor shook her head and shouted over the music, “No, these older guys just really know how to dance!”

Now to her, older probably meant thirty, but whatever their age, she was right about these dancers. Although there were plenty of opportunities for the untrained dancers in the room, there were a few guys who could make anyone look like a pro. A couple of my dancer partners had me twirling like Ginger. What a workout!

Another regular on the dance floor, Irene Herman, kindly recognized my need for dance instruction when it came time for a line dance called “Booty Call.” She showed me the finer points. She was a great teacher, having won a dance contest in November. When I whined that I didn’t have the hip shake down as well as she did, she suggested I wear a swingy skirt to make my shake more dramatic. Sounds like a wonderful reason to go shopping.

LA Singles Founder and president, Stephen Evan, was a delightful host, greeting old and new guests alike, as was Enar Sanders, the Publicity Chairman. They have enjoyed watching the dance grow in popularity and spoke of the contests and theme nights that they plan for the dance. One tradition is a standing moment of respect to listen and sing along to a moving rendition of God Bless America in honor of our men and women in the armed forces.

Mr. Sanders pointed out the recently engaged Jack Staud and Judy Youngblood, who were sitting at the table where they met three years earlier at one of the LA Singles Dances. Friends came up to congratulate them as Mr. Staud said with a sweet grin, “We got engaged at Christmas because I couldn’t wait until Valentine’s Day.”

While the dance floor filled up for the Electric Slide, Mr. Staud, who has been a regular to the dance for over 12 years, explained how he met his fiancée, “She came over and asked me to dance. I’m kind of shy.”

To learn more about LA Singles Dances, visit their website at www.lasinglesbwa.com. To participate in the Suburban Singles Scene, visit us online at our Suburban Singles Blog at www.suburbansingles.blogspot.com, or watch for the singles column in Suburban Scene’s monthly print magazine.

Who can come out to play on Friday night?

I hope many of you already marked your calendars to come have some fun this Friday night, January 11th at the LA Singles Dance held from 8:30pm -1am. The dance is held in the Knights of Columbus Hall on the northbound side of Route 3 in Bowie, between the Science & Tech Center and route 450.

If you've never been before, there is always a crowd and they are always dancing. The music will be played by a disc jockey, although they sometimes do have live music. There is a $9 entry fee and a cash bar. They do have a no-jeans rule. The music is a range of classic oldies and recent pop hits. A wide age range attends.

I can't guarantee I'm staying until 1am, but the organizers have designated two tables with red & blue tablecloths to help us find each other. I'll be there at the beginning, greeting friends, but later you will likely find me dancing. I have some holiday calories to burn! I hope you all join me on the dance floor.

I've already heard from several who are planning to attend. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions. I know many of you have been to this dance before or are even regulars. So stop over and say hello. Let me introduce you to someone new.

Buckle down and work hard this week so you can come out and play this Friday!
See you there!

February's Column

I hope everyone survived the joy, heartache, and romance of the holiday season. Are you finding storage space for all your newly acquired property? It's hard to ignore all those piles when you work from home. Anybody ready to tackle healthier choices?

I came back from a lovely holiday to write my next column for the print magazine's February issue: Planning a Local Wedding. Apparently, there are folks around us who are planning on getting married, despite all evidence to the contrary.




I thought: I bet you guys all have good stories to share about the first time you had to attend a wedding after the traumatic ending of a significant relationship.

How was that different or difficult?
Any funny stories, suggestions, or cautionary tales?
Was it different for the divorced, widowed, and never marrieds?
How are those differences similar?

Maybe your comments will be in the Singles Column in the February issue.

(As a side note, I am bumping my planned Single in Church column up another month. It has been difficult to do the necessary research during the holiday season and I want to present more local information.)