My Christmas wish for all of you is that you be touched by love today, this season, this year. Not necessarily romantic love, which is unreliable at best, but a deep, filling Love. It begins with loving yourself.
Everyone makes mistakes. Even so, no matter how many or how bad your mistakes might be, you are worthy of love. Life is so much better with love. Be gentle with yourself today. Celebrate moments of joy at hand.
Merry Christmas
Ann
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Holidaze
I was out with the hordes today, picking up some last minute gifts in the pouring down rain. Rain or no rain, apparently I was not the only one who had to shop today.
Let's date ourselves by describing some memorable gifts we received as children.
My sister and I were delighted with Dawn & Chrissie dolls who had hair you could retract and pull out again for various styles. Of course, when you cut it, that was it.
I made elaborate, housewide orange Hot Wheels race tracks with my brothers.
Nothing was more exciting than the phone my sister and I had installed in our room: blue, push putton, curly cord. Finally! a private phone call!
What do you remember?
Let's date ourselves by describing some memorable gifts we received as children.
My sister and I were delighted with Dawn & Chrissie dolls who had hair you could retract and pull out again for various styles. Of course, when you cut it, that was it.
I made elaborate, housewide orange Hot Wheels race tracks with my brothers.
Nothing was more exciting than the phone my sister and I had installed in our room: blue, push putton, curly cord. Finally! a private phone call!
What do you remember?
Thursday, December 20, 2007
What's in your stocking?
One of the advantages of being single is that you are obligated to buy for yourself for the holidays. I figure I am not only entitled to what my ex would have spent on me, but also what I would have spent on him. That adds up to a pretty nice present. And I don't have to hint around and hope that anyone selects the thing I want the most. If I'm not happy with my Christmas gifts, I only have myself to blame.
This year I've decided to also stuff my own stocking. It's a great stocking too. I can't wait until Christmas morning!
So how are you pampering yourself this holiday season? And if you aren't, or haven't yet, snap out of it! You deserve something wonderful. Indulge in a massage or a pedicure. Sign up for a yoga class. Go ahead and get yourself an iPod and load it up with your favorite music. Take yourself for a long walk in some woods. Make yourself a special dinner. Take charge of your happiness.
This year I've decided to also stuff my own stocking. It's a great stocking too. I can't wait until Christmas morning!
So how are you pampering yourself this holiday season? And if you aren't, or haven't yet, snap out of it! You deserve something wonderful. Indulge in a massage or a pedicure. Sign up for a yoga class. Go ahead and get yourself an iPod and load it up with your favorite music. Take yourself for a long walk in some woods. Make yourself a special dinner. Take charge of your happiness.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Planning Events
Since I began the singles column & blog for Suburban Scene back in April, the project has taken on a bit of its own direction. I sometimes feel as though I am holding the reins of those Budweiser Clydesdales: steering a wagon of fun, and hoping it doesn't get away from me.
I have had several e-mails and conversations lately with excited participants, suggesting a wide variety of activities for us to consider.
For the year 2008, I am going to try to highlight singles events and activities already going on in the area. I am going to collaborate with some of our advertisers on four unique events this year that are still being determined. I want to make sure we are using all the magazine's and our vendors' resources wisely. So as soon as I have the next big Suburban Singles Scene event on the schedule, I will be sure to announce it.
In the meantime, I am going to highlight events already going on with other local singles groups.
Just today, a friend asked me, "What advice should I give to my single friends who are looking for romance in those on-line dating services?"
Well, I honestly have no experience with those. I have heard mixed reviews. That is a whole area for future investigation and discussion. But I advised her to encourage her friends to change up their routines. Go to new places. Sign up for new classes. Accept an invitation.
If you always do the same thing, you decrease your changes of something new happening.
So in that train of thought, I want to encourage everyone to try the LA Singles Dance at the Knights of Columbus Hall in Bowie one Friday coming up in the next month or so.
Many of you have already been. It can be a lot of fun. There are all ages of singles, and all levels of dancing ability. It is every Friday night from 8:30pm to 1am. December 21st will have a Christmas theme. December 28th will be an early New Year's celebration.
I am going to go on January 11th. I already talked to the coordinator and he will help me get a table near the door to greet everyone coming in from the magazine and blog. It is so much more comforting trying something new when you know you will have someone to sit with and someone to dance with too. It'll be fun - and we'll probably all need to move around on the dance floor by mid January.
I'll post more about it as it gets closer, but mark your calendars.
I have had several e-mails and conversations lately with excited participants, suggesting a wide variety of activities for us to consider.
For the year 2008, I am going to try to highlight singles events and activities already going on in the area. I am going to collaborate with some of our advertisers on four unique events this year that are still being determined. I want to make sure we are using all the magazine's and our vendors' resources wisely. So as soon as I have the next big Suburban Singles Scene event on the schedule, I will be sure to announce it.
In the meantime, I am going to highlight events already going on with other local singles groups.
Just today, a friend asked me, "What advice should I give to my single friends who are looking for romance in those on-line dating services?"
Well, I honestly have no experience with those. I have heard mixed reviews. That is a whole area for future investigation and discussion. But I advised her to encourage her friends to change up their routines. Go to new places. Sign up for new classes. Accept an invitation.
If you always do the same thing, you decrease your changes of something new happening.
So in that train of thought, I want to encourage everyone to try the LA Singles Dance at the Knights of Columbus Hall in Bowie one Friday coming up in the next month or so.
Many of you have already been. It can be a lot of fun. There are all ages of singles, and all levels of dancing ability. It is every Friday night from 8:30pm to 1am. December 21st will have a Christmas theme. December 28th will be an early New Year's celebration.
I am going to go on January 11th. I already talked to the coordinator and he will help me get a table near the door to greet everyone coming in from the magazine and blog. It is so much more comforting trying something new when you know you will have someone to sit with and someone to dance with too. It'll be fun - and we'll probably all need to move around on the dance floor by mid January.
I'll post more about it as it gets closer, but mark your calendars.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Is it hot in here?
Are you all grinning from Mike & Ava's witty repartee in the comment bonanza from the last post?
Whew! That was fun!
When was the last time you got into that kind of fun conversation? Where were you?
Communicating on-line really gives wit room to shine, doesn't it?
Whew! That was fun!
When was the last time you got into that kind of fun conversation? Where were you?
Communicating on-line really gives wit room to shine, doesn't it?
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Allison's Happy Hour
I sure hope to see you at tomorrow's Happy Hour at Allison's Restaurant in Crofton between 5 & 7pm. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. They have a delicious menu if any of you decide (as I have) to stay for dinner too. There will be complimentary appetizers, featuring meats from My Butcher and More. And remember, if you order a Lagoon, the first one is on the house.
Mystery Barstool Contest
Here is the latest installment of our Mystery Barstool Contest. The first commenter who identifies the location of this barstool gets a $25 gift certificate to the establishment.
Are you guys going to let Mike win again?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Singular Bible Study Group
Last night I attended Mike's Bible study group at Faith Community Church on Reidel Road in Gambrills. Mike even won a gold star for knowing what "Hades" means in Greek. This is the winningest guy I know: barstools and Bible!
This group has a friendly, delicious, 3-tiered support network for their single members and any singles who want to attend. Half the people I spoke to attended other area congregations that did not have a similar Bible study group. Why re-invent the wheel though when other churches are willing to share resources,eh?
At FCC on the first Monday night of the month, you will find a group called Nexus that is for the younger, often never married crowd. They primarily meet for a worship celebration. I peeked in, but couldn't take a picture for you without being disruptive. They had candles lit and the lights down low with their acoustic guitars and drums. Good size crowd though.
On every Monday, the Single Parents & Single Empty Nesters meet for dinner, a brief combined time for announcements and a devotional, and then a two different Bible studies. The studies sometimes focus specifically on a singles' issue, but often is a more classic Bible study. They collaborate on social outings, like their recent trip to see the Rockettes in NYC.
Although the Empty Nesters were primarily women, my attendance in the Single Parents group made the number of men & women even.
Dinner was delicious, and compliments of the church. Child care was provided. The folks in attendance were friendly as could be. So if you are looking for just such a place, you should check this group out!
Do you know of any other houses of worship in the area that have active groups for singles?
This group has a friendly, delicious, 3-tiered support network for their single members and any singles who want to attend. Half the people I spoke to attended other area congregations that did not have a similar Bible study group. Why re-invent the wheel though when other churches are willing to share resources,eh?
At FCC on the first Monday night of the month, you will find a group called Nexus that is for the younger, often never married crowd. They primarily meet for a worship celebration. I peeked in, but couldn't take a picture for you without being disruptive. They had candles lit and the lights down low with their acoustic guitars and drums. Good size crowd though.
On every Monday, the Single Parents & Single Empty Nesters meet for dinner, a brief combined time for announcements and a devotional, and then a two different Bible studies. The studies sometimes focus specifically on a singles' issue, but often is a more classic Bible study. They collaborate on social outings, like their recent trip to see the Rockettes in NYC.
Although the Empty Nesters were primarily women, my attendance in the Single Parents group made the number of men & women even.
Dinner was delicious, and compliments of the church. Child care was provided. The folks in attendance were friendly as could be. So if you are looking for just such a place, you should check this group out!
Do you know of any other houses of worship in the area that have active groups for singles?
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Fattening Season
This is a tough season to maintain healthy food choices and to include exercise in your day. I still have stashes of Halloween candy in various corners of my house, and then we had the pie onslaught of Thanksgiving. So many delectables dive into my grocery cart this time of year that I usually avoid. I even think the "holiday cookie" air freshener in my car is making me gain weight.
Of course maintaining your weight becomes increasingly more challenging as you age. More responsibilities crowd potential exercise time, more exhaustion beckons you to the couch.
I'm not sure which is more fattening: marriage or break-up, depression or happiness, stress or relaxation. I suppose it is different for everyone.
One of the problems of dating at mid-life is that you are dating middle-aged people - well, except for those May-December types. So many factors create our bulging waistlines: injuries, illness, lack of motivation.
Now that you are single again,
do you feel more or less pressure to strive for physical fitness?
How important is physical fitness in your dating choices?
Is marriage fattening?
How does your physical fitness level affect your confidence?
Of course maintaining your weight becomes increasingly more challenging as you age. More responsibilities crowd potential exercise time, more exhaustion beckons you to the couch.
I'm not sure which is more fattening: marriage or break-up, depression or happiness, stress or relaxation. I suppose it is different for everyone.
One of the problems of dating at mid-life is that you are dating middle-aged people - well, except for those May-December types. So many factors create our bulging waistlines: injuries, illness, lack of motivation.
Now that you are single again,
do you feel more or less pressure to strive for physical fitness?
How important is physical fitness in your dating choices?
Is marriage fattening?
How does your physical fitness level affect your confidence?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Event Reminder
I hope you can all come out to our next Suburban Singles Scene event.
On Thursday, December 6th from 5-7pm, Allison's Restaurant is hosting a Free Drink Happy Hour. Owner Jim Hamrock is offering a secret free drink announced on this blog. The first Lagoon is on the house. It's blue, so it will be easy to spot your friends from the blog & the magazine.
Mike Smollen, everyone's favorite butcher, will be contributing some of his fine roasts to the merriment.
I am going to bring the decks of a few games I have, if you want to play a questions game with some of your comrades. I have Tribond, Would You Rather?, Worst Case Scenario, and a Trivial Pursuit.
What's your opinion on board games?
On Thursday, December 6th from 5-7pm, Allison's Restaurant is hosting a Free Drink Happy Hour. Owner Jim Hamrock is offering a secret free drink announced on this blog. The first Lagoon is on the house. It's blue, so it will be easy to spot your friends from the blog & the magazine.
Mike Smollen, everyone's favorite butcher, will be contributing some of his fine roasts to the merriment.
I am going to bring the decks of a few games I have, if you want to play a questions game with some of your comrades. I have Tribond, Would You Rather?, Worst Case Scenario, and a Trivial Pursuit.
What's your opinion on board games?
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Enchanted
I saw "Enchanted" over the Thanksgiving weekend, with my kids and a dozen other members of my family. Cute movie - fun for everyone.
It presented the idea that all relationships have an element of fantasy and reality in them. Too much fantasy, and you are really a cartoon. Too much reality and there is no passion, no flair.
What is your experience with the balance of fantasy and reality in your relationships?
For me, I was married to Peter Pan, who, as you might recall, ran away from reality and lived entirely in his own fantasy world, determined not to be a man. Peter Pan can be a lot of fun - so confident and adventurous.
Since then, ironically, I have been better at the fantasy part of the relationship. The reality scares me. It's all fine until it becomes everyday. Then I get the willies. Love at first sight, the fantasy, like Romeo & Juliet, seems easier than the real stuff. How do you move from one to the other?
It presented the idea that all relationships have an element of fantasy and reality in them. Too much fantasy, and you are really a cartoon. Too much reality and there is no passion, no flair.
What is your experience with the balance of fantasy and reality in your relationships?
For me, I was married to Peter Pan, who, as you might recall, ran away from reality and lived entirely in his own fantasy world, determined not to be a man. Peter Pan can be a lot of fun - so confident and adventurous.
Since then, ironically, I have been better at the fantasy part of the relationship. The reality scares me. It's all fine until it becomes everyday. Then I get the willies. Love at first sight, the fantasy, like Romeo & Juliet, seems easier than the real stuff. How do you move from one to the other?
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tug of War
I saw an intriguing piece of advice today in the Washington Post. Have you ever seen Carolyn Hax's advice column in the Style section?
Today, Carolyn Hax said,
"There's no tug of war if you drop your end of the rope."
I thought, what rope am I still pulling? How do I put it down?
Today, Carolyn Hax said,
"There's no tug of war if you drop your end of the rope."
I thought, what rope am I still pulling? How do I put it down?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Thanksgiving Plans
When you are getting used to being single again, the holidays can be a drag - especially if you don't have your children for the first time. Although traditions can be comforting, they can also be a burden.
Last year was the first Thanksgiving I wasn't going to have my kids and I just didn't feel like cooking a thing. I wanted to do something completely different - and not at my house.
I persuaded the rest of my family to join me for lunch at the relatively new Native American Museum in DC. It wasn't very crowded at all in the morning. The architecture of the building itself is intriguing. The exhibits were fascinating, although they sometimes made me ashamed I was white. The gift shop was alluring. And the cafeteria was fabulous. All the dishes are prepared in indigenous recipes.
That is bison pot roast on my plate, peanut soup, roasted blue potatoes, a field greens salad and some other delectables I can't quite remember a year later.
It was a great way to not mope around and feel sorry for myself.
What are your plans this Thanksgiving?
Last year was the first Thanksgiving I wasn't going to have my kids and I just didn't feel like cooking a thing. I wanted to do something completely different - and not at my house.
I persuaded the rest of my family to join me for lunch at the relatively new Native American Museum in DC. It wasn't very crowded at all in the morning. The architecture of the building itself is intriguing. The exhibits were fascinating, although they sometimes made me ashamed I was white. The gift shop was alluring. And the cafeteria was fabulous. All the dishes are prepared in indigenous recipes.
That is bison pot roast on my plate, peanut soup, roasted blue potatoes, a field greens salad and some other delectables I can't quite remember a year later.
It was a great way to not mope around and feel sorry for myself.
What are your plans this Thanksgiving?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
007 Singles Party
A huge singles party is planned for this Friday night in Annapolis with a James Bond theme. The party, called "From What's Up? with Love," is the 5th annual singles party hosted by What's Up Annapolis? Magazine. There will be live music & dancing, casino tables, a martini bar, a cigar roller, and psychic readings. There is sure to be hundreds of local singles for you to meet.
Proceeds from the night are supporting The Arc of the Central Chesapeake, an organization that supports people with developmental disabilities.
The party is from 7-11pm at the Loews Annapolis Hotel on 126 West Street in Annapolis.
Tickets are $45.
Let me know if you are going. I can't attend, but I would love to hear some stories about it.
Proceeds from the night are supporting The Arc of the Central Chesapeake, an organization that supports people with developmental disabilities.
The party is from 7-11pm at the Loews Annapolis Hotel on 126 West Street in Annapolis.
Tickets are $45.
Let me know if you are going. I can't attend, but I would love to hear some stories about it.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Wine Tasting Fun
Despite the rainy weather, we had a great turn out at last night's wine tasting at Hops & Vines in the Piney Orchard Plaza in Odenton. It was great to meet some of you for the first time and I enjoyed getting to know some of you better.
I couldn't decide which wine I enjoyed the most, so I picked up one of each. Hops & Vines has wine tastings every Friday night from 4-7 if you missed yesterday's event.
Again, Mike Sweeney was the Mystery Barstool Constest winner, this time picking up a gift certificate to Kaufmann's Sunday Jazz Brunch. I'm hoping more of you will give him some competition next month. I'll try to find a place he doesn't know.
I want to thank all our sponsors:
Hops & Vines
Kaufmann's Restaurant
My Butcher & More
Crofton Fine Art & Frame
The Hair Experience
The Four Seasons Grille
Piney Orchard Florist
Next month, you are invited to have a special drink on the house at Allison's Restaurant in Crofton at their Thursday night Happy Hour from 5-7pm on December 6th. Watch the blog for details about the secret drink.
Until then, I'll "see" you on-line.
I couldn't decide which wine I enjoyed the most, so I picked up one of each. Hops & Vines has wine tastings every Friday night from 4-7 if you missed yesterday's event.
Again, Mike Sweeney was the Mystery Barstool Constest winner, this time picking up a gift certificate to Kaufmann's Sunday Jazz Brunch. I'm hoping more of you will give him some competition next month. I'll try to find a place he doesn't know.
I want to thank all our sponsors:
Hops & Vines
Kaufmann's Restaurant
My Butcher & More
Crofton Fine Art & Frame
The Hair Experience
The Four Seasons Grille
Piney Orchard Florist
Next month, you are invited to have a special drink on the house at Allison's Restaurant in Crofton at their Thursday night Happy Hour from 5-7pm on December 6th. Watch the blog for details about the secret drink.
Until then, I'll "see" you on-line.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Mystery Barstool Contest
Here it is.
The first one to correctly identify the location of this barstool wins a gift certificate to the establishment.
I hope I can award the winner at tomorrow's wine tasting at Hops & Vines from 5-7 in Piney Orchard Plaza in Odenton.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Dancing & Insight
I had fun at the Changing Focus Benefit dinner last Saturday night. (You can read about it in the Suburban Scene's e-newsletter. Let me know if you want to be put on that e-mail list.)
I even danced, albeit slowly and hanging on tight. I could not dance to "Brown-Eyed Girl" even if the majority in the polls agreed with me that it was a great get up and dance song.
It was great to see some familiar faces there.
The motivational speaker, Linda Roebuck, led us through an interesting exercise I thought I'd share with you, but you have to be willing to play along. First, you need to find a scrap of paper and number it from one to ten.
Now as she led us through this exercise, we had finished dinner, the lights were low, the cash bar had been hopping. Ms. Roebuck had a peaceful voice and encouraged us to close our eyes. None of that set up is going to work here, so just humor me.
1. Imagine you are on a walk out in nature. Write down who you are walking with.
2. You see an animal. Write down the animal you see.
3. What do you do when you see the animal?
4. You see the house of your dreams on your walk. Describe it briefly.
5. Is there a fence around your yard?
6. When you go in, what do you see on the table?
7. You see a cup on the floor. What it is made out of?
8. What do you do with the cup?
9. There is water on your property. What body of water is it?
10. How do you attempt to cross the water?
OK, now here are the interpretations of your answers:
1. The person you are with is a significant relationship.(ok, that was an easy one.)
2. The size of the animal relates to the size of the problems you are currently facing.
3. What you do with the animal reflects how you deal with those problems.
4. What does the house say about your personal style?
5. A fence indicates you are less open to relationships with others, more closed off. No fence means that you value relationships.
6. What is on the table... I can't quite remember this one, reflects something about yourself. (Flowers, food are good. I saw mail - obligations, communication)
7. What the cup is made out of represents how you feel about loving relationships.
8. What you do with the cup represents how you treat the person you love.
9. The size of the body of water represents your sexual desire.
10. How wet you get represents your involvement in #9.
Anyone want to share a personal insight?
I even danced, albeit slowly and hanging on tight. I could not dance to "Brown-Eyed Girl" even if the majority in the polls agreed with me that it was a great get up and dance song.
It was great to see some familiar faces there.
The motivational speaker, Linda Roebuck, led us through an interesting exercise I thought I'd share with you, but you have to be willing to play along. First, you need to find a scrap of paper and number it from one to ten.
Now as she led us through this exercise, we had finished dinner, the lights were low, the cash bar had been hopping. Ms. Roebuck had a peaceful voice and encouraged us to close our eyes. None of that set up is going to work here, so just humor me.
1. Imagine you are on a walk out in nature. Write down who you are walking with.
2. You see an animal. Write down the animal you see.
3. What do you do when you see the animal?
4. You see the house of your dreams on your walk. Describe it briefly.
5. Is there a fence around your yard?
6. When you go in, what do you see on the table?
7. You see a cup on the floor. What it is made out of?
8. What do you do with the cup?
9. There is water on your property. What body of water is it?
10. How do you attempt to cross the water?
OK, now here are the interpretations of your answers:
1. The person you are with is a significant relationship.(ok, that was an easy one.)
2. The size of the animal relates to the size of the problems you are currently facing.
3. What you do with the animal reflects how you deal with those problems.
4. What does the house say about your personal style?
5. A fence indicates you are less open to relationships with others, more closed off. No fence means that you value relationships.
6. What is on the table... I can't quite remember this one, reflects something about yourself. (Flowers, food are good. I saw mail - obligations, communication)
7. What the cup is made out of represents how you feel about loving relationships.
8. What you do with the cup represents how you treat the person you love.
9. The size of the body of water represents your sexual desire.
10. How wet you get represents your involvement in #9.
Anyone want to share a personal insight?
Monday, October 29, 2007
Ladybug! Ladybug...
Imagine you were one of those folks evacuated in the rampant California wildfires. If you had only minutes to evacuate, what would you grab?
Let's do this like Wheel of Fortune and give everyone the following items:
loved ones & pets
important papers from your files
photos
What else?
Let's do this like Wheel of Fortune and give everyone the following items:
loved ones & pets
important papers from your files
photos
What else?
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Get Up & Dance
What are you doing Saturday, November 3rd?
Changing Focus is having a 30th Anniversary Benefit Gala from 6pm-10pm in Millersville. There will be a cash bar, catered dinner, motivational and historical speakers, and a DJ & dancing afterwards.
The only catch is that you have to reserve your ticket in advance. There is information on their website under Events. You need to sign up in advance to select your dinner option and reserve a space.
It will be only five days after I finally get this cast off my leg after six weeks, so I'm not sure how fleet-footed I will be on the dance floor. Nevertheless, I am really looking forward to giving it my best shot.
I hope to see some of you there!
Changing Focus is having a 30th Anniversary Benefit Gala from 6pm-10pm in Millersville. There will be a cash bar, catered dinner, motivational and historical speakers, and a DJ & dancing afterwards.
The only catch is that you have to reserve your ticket in advance. There is information on their website under Events. You need to sign up in advance to select your dinner option and reserve a space.
It will be only five days after I finally get this cast off my leg after six weeks, so I'm not sure how fleet-footed I will be on the dance floor. Nevertheless, I am really looking forward to giving it my best shot.
I hope to see some of you there!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Wallets, Pockets, & Purses
By way of revealing a bit of yourselves, name 5 items currently in your purse, wallet, or pocket.
In my purse, I have...
1. Sharpie Markers for signing my cast
2. an orthodontist appointment card for my daughter
3. an article clipped of the paper about the "rusty crayfish" to show my friend in a local band by the name "The Crayfish"
4. a police officer's card with the case number on it to report my daughter's stolen bicycle
5. "Pink Bamboo" lipstick
In my purse, I have...
1. Sharpie Markers for signing my cast
2. an orthodontist appointment card for my daughter
3. an article clipped of the paper about the "rusty crayfish" to show my friend in a local band by the name "The Crayfish"
4. a police officer's card with the case number on it to report my daughter's stolen bicycle
5. "Pink Bamboo" lipstick
Monday, October 15, 2007
Fun Times - Thanks to our Sponsors
I had such fun Friday night at our Suburban Singles night at Super Suppers in Crofton. Many thanks all around to our guests and our sponsors.
The sample foods provided by Super Suppers were delicious. I personally enjoyed the two braided bread items and it was a great opportunity to stock up my freezer with some dinners.
Our coffee sponsor, the Cosmic Bean, as always was an energizing perk. The wine tasting from Hops & Vines provided some tantalizing considerations too. Fortunate guests were happy to win a pound of coffee, a bottle of wine, and three lucky winners won gift certificates from Supper Supers.
We had some great door prizes from those sponsors plus a few others that were enviable winnings for some of our guests. Crofton Fine Art & Frame donated a $50 gift certificate that was won by our Mystery Barstool Contest winner, Mike Sweeney. Leslie Dolan was the lucky recipient of the leather bag of hair products and gift certificate from the Hair Experience. And Maris won the $50 ticket to the Changing Focus 30th anniversary dinner/dance next month, sure to be a lovely soirée. (More to come on that event.)
Everyone was so kind and helpful with the temporary incapacitation of my cast. So many helpful people out there! I know several guests went on to the dance at the Knights of Columbus Hall. Hopefully next month I can go out after with you all. It was great to meet so many of you.
The sample foods provided by Super Suppers were delicious. I personally enjoyed the two braided bread items and it was a great opportunity to stock up my freezer with some dinners.
Our coffee sponsor, the Cosmic Bean, as always was an energizing perk. The wine tasting from Hops & Vines provided some tantalizing considerations too. Fortunate guests were happy to win a pound of coffee, a bottle of wine, and three lucky winners won gift certificates from Supper Supers.
We had some great door prizes from those sponsors plus a few others that were enviable winnings for some of our guests. Crofton Fine Art & Frame donated a $50 gift certificate that was won by our Mystery Barstool Contest winner, Mike Sweeney. Leslie Dolan was the lucky recipient of the leather bag of hair products and gift certificate from the Hair Experience. And Maris won the $50 ticket to the Changing Focus 30th anniversary dinner/dance next month, sure to be a lovely soirée. (More to come on that event.)
Everyone was so kind and helpful with the temporary incapacitation of my cast. So many helpful people out there! I know several guests went on to the dance at the Knights of Columbus Hall. Hopefully next month I can go out after with you all. It was great to meet so many of you.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
New Contest
Ok, so I'm taking Mike up on his suggestion.
Leave your guess in the comments about how many guests will attend our Super Suppers event this Friday (tomorrow!). The person who guesses the closest to our actual number of guests will win one of Mike's overload of winning Mystery Barstool Contest prizes.
We had a great turn out last month at Crofton Fine Art & Frame - about 75 people. We have several of the same sponsors this time. You will be able to enjoy free samples from Super Suppers, or even put together dinners for your own freezer. There will be a free coffee tasting sponsored by the Cosmic Bean and a free wine tasting hosted by Odenton's Hops & Vines.
I will have door prizes from those folks, as well as another goodie bag from Crofton's The Hair Experience, Crofton Fine Art & Frame, and a ticket to a dinner dance hosted by Changing Focus this coming November 3rd. And I still have Four Season's
Supper Supers is on the north bound side of Rte 3 between Moni's and Jaspers. We should have plenty of parking.
I'll check my comments of Friday before I head over to the mixer for the latest guesses of number of attendees. We'll take the count at doorprize time!
I look forward to seeing you all there.
Bon Appetit!
Leave your guess in the comments about how many guests will attend our Super Suppers event this Friday (tomorrow!). The person who guesses the closest to our actual number of guests will win one of Mike's overload of winning Mystery Barstool Contest prizes.
We had a great turn out last month at Crofton Fine Art & Frame - about 75 people. We have several of the same sponsors this time. You will be able to enjoy free samples from Super Suppers, or even put together dinners for your own freezer. There will be a free coffee tasting sponsored by the Cosmic Bean and a free wine tasting hosted by Odenton's Hops & Vines.
I will have door prizes from those folks, as well as another goodie bag from Crofton's The Hair Experience, Crofton Fine Art & Frame, and a ticket to a dinner dance hosted by Changing Focus this coming November 3rd. And I still have Four Season's
Supper Supers is on the north bound side of Rte 3 between Moni's and Jaspers. We should have plenty of parking.
I'll check my comments of Friday before I head over to the mixer for the latest guesses of number of attendees. We'll take the count at doorprize time!
I look forward to seeing you all there.
Bon Appetit!
Mystery Barstool Contest
Can you identify the establishment from this picture? If you are the first one to correctly identify the location of this barstool, you will win a gift certificate. I will happily present it to you at Friday's Super Suppers Mixer, or you can contact me through my e-mail address in my profile and I can mail it to you.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Everyday Flirtations
Have you noticed my poll questions to the right of your screen?
Mike, our first Mystery Barstool Winner, suggested a singles event in a grocery store. Since I am laid up with my broken leg, I have not begun to shop around for a venue for such an event, but it sounds like a good idea to me. And it got me to thinking about the wonderful opportunities for flirting in a grocery store.
Did you ever see the Steve Martin/Rick Moranis movie, "My Blue Heaven"? Martin's character approaches a woman in frozen foods and says something like...
You better get outta this aisle.
What do you mean?
You are so hot, you could melt all this stuff.
I know, super corny. But maybe we could have corny pick-up lines on the door prize cards.
So what flirtatious comments could you make in a grocery store?
Mike, our first Mystery Barstool Winner, suggested a singles event in a grocery store. Since I am laid up with my broken leg, I have not begun to shop around for a venue for such an event, but it sounds like a good idea to me. And it got me to thinking about the wonderful opportunities for flirting in a grocery store.
Did you ever see the Steve Martin/Rick Moranis movie, "My Blue Heaven"? Martin's character approaches a woman in frozen foods and says something like...
You better get outta this aisle.
What do you mean?
You are so hot, you could melt all this stuff.
I know, super corny. But maybe we could have corny pick-up lines on the door prize cards.
So what flirtatious comments could you make in a grocery store?
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Single Sick Days
I don't know how someone could get through an extended illness or recuperation from an injury without a big support network. I am blessed to live in my hometown with plenty of family and friends. My church is coordinating dinners twice a week for my family and my neighbors have sent over some food on some of those other days.
But what if I had relocated to a new town and hadn't made a whole lot of friends when I broke my leg? What if I hadn't gotten around to attending a church at all, for whatever reason? Or what if I was just shy or more of a loner who didn't have a big circle of friends? How would I manage?
I know there are several services I could employ. There are errand services and grocery delivery services. I don't know if they would actually put the ice cream in the freezer for me when they arrived, but thy might when they saw how pathetic I looked.
I am reminded more than ever in these days when I have been so dependent on the kindness of others, that what goes around comes around. I have done my share of taking meals to sick friends. Although I wish they didn't have this opportunity to pay me back, I'm sure glad they are.
Social networking, whether it is through a religion, a chorus, a PTA, or business turns out to be somewhat of an insurance policy against hard times.
If you would like to boost your opportunities to make local friends, then you have a chance tonight at the Four Seasons Grill's Happy Hour from 4-7. If you ask for "Joanna's Mango Elixir", your first round is on the house. They are doing that as a favor to all the Suburban Singles Scene fans. If there's a big turn out, maybe they will do it again.
Even if you don't actually drink the mango-vodka treat, use it as a signal. You can see what it looks like and then see who else has one. I've even have an intro line for you. You could say, "Hey did you hear what happened to Ann?" Then you can discuss my sad story and share your own broken bone stories. (I've learned in the past few days that everyone has a broken bone story.)
Let me know if that works for you. Even if you don't meet the love of your life, maybe you'll meet a new friend. Friends are important. You can never have too many.
I won't be able to make it to the happy hour, darn-it, but bottom's up for you.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Free Drink Happy Hour
I am finally getting back to some work after my injury. Although I don't know if I will be able to make the Happy Hour on Thursday, I wanted to remind you of the wonderful offer the Four Seasons Grill is extending to us.
During their regular happy hours of 4-7pm, the bar at the Four Seasons Grill will give you one free "JoAnna's Mango Elixir". They wanted to create a drink that people wouldn't accidentally order. If they end up making a lot, maybe we can make this a recurring event! I'm not sure of all the ingredients, but mango-flavored vodka is one of them.
So help me spread the word. The first mango elixir is free at Waugh Chapel's Four Season Grill from 4-7 this Thursday, September 27th.
I just don't know if I will be up to coming or not yet. I'll keep you posted.
During their regular happy hours of 4-7pm, the bar at the Four Seasons Grill will give you one free "JoAnna's Mango Elixir". They wanted to create a drink that people wouldn't accidentally order. If they end up making a lot, maybe we can make this a recurring event! I'm not sure of all the ingredients, but mango-flavored vodka is one of them.
So help me spread the word. The first mango elixir is free at Waugh Chapel's Four Season Grill from 4-7 this Thursday, September 27th.
I just don't know if I will be up to coming or not yet. I'll keep you posted.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Thanks
I was overwhelmed by the turnout at our first singles event last Friday night. Seventy-five people turned out to sample wines and coffees and appetizers. We all enjoyed the artwork on display and several had fun winning doorprizes.
I was so encouraged to hear your reasons for coming. Several people told me it was their first time out either since the second singlehood began or at least in quite a while. I heard from several people that they appreciated the event being in Eric's lovely gallery instead of a bar or a dance. The samplings and the art made conversation easy.
As usual at singles events, there were more women than men, but there were quite a few men - handsome, well-employed men too! Even if romance didn't bloom, it was great to meet new friends and I saw a few glad reunions.
I was disappointed that MoneyGirl, our second Mystery Barstool Contest winner did not reveal herself. MoneyGirl, you need to click on my profile to get to my e-mail address. If you give me your contact information, I will mail you your gift certificates to the Four Seasons Grille.
I'm sorry for the delay in posting. I had a wonderful adventure planned for Saturday that went horribly wrong. I was chasing catamarans in a motor boat on the West River. Due to a series of minor misjudgments, I fell and broke my leg in three places. I had an excruciating ride back to the marina followed by an ambulance ride to Anne Arundel Med Center. After x-rays, they reset my foot so my toes were pointing in the right direction again, but I am still going to have to go back to have some screw put in.
My family has been waiting on me and I have tried to keep my drug level high. I will keep you posted, but will not be writing as frequently as I'd like to in the next few days. Then I suppose I will have plenty of time for blogging. I broke my right foot, so I won't be driving for a while.
This reminds me that I want to have a conversation about how you deal with injury or illness when you are single. But I'll save that for later.
Thanks to all of you who came out Friday night. It was absolutely wonderful.
I was so encouraged to hear your reasons for coming. Several people told me it was their first time out either since the second singlehood began or at least in quite a while. I heard from several people that they appreciated the event being in Eric's lovely gallery instead of a bar or a dance. The samplings and the art made conversation easy.
As usual at singles events, there were more women than men, but there were quite a few men - handsome, well-employed men too! Even if romance didn't bloom, it was great to meet new friends and I saw a few glad reunions.
I was disappointed that MoneyGirl, our second Mystery Barstool Contest winner did not reveal herself. MoneyGirl, you need to click on my profile to get to my e-mail address. If you give me your contact information, I will mail you your gift certificates to the Four Seasons Grille.
I'm sorry for the delay in posting. I had a wonderful adventure planned for Saturday that went horribly wrong. I was chasing catamarans in a motor boat on the West River. Due to a series of minor misjudgments, I fell and broke my leg in three places. I had an excruciating ride back to the marina followed by an ambulance ride to Anne Arundel Med Center. After x-rays, they reset my foot so my toes were pointing in the right direction again, but I am still going to have to go back to have some screw put in.
My family has been waiting on me and I have tried to keep my drug level high. I will keep you posted, but will not be writing as frequently as I'd like to in the next few days. Then I suppose I will have plenty of time for blogging. I broke my right foot, so I won't be driving for a while.
This reminds me that I want to have a conversation about how you deal with injury or illness when you are single. But I'll save that for later.
Thanks to all of you who came out Friday night. It was absolutely wonderful.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
After Hours Mixer
Tomorrow is our big night! Our first event.
You are all invited to the Crofton Fine Art & Frame Gallery at Staples Corner (424 & 450) from 7-9pm to sample wine, custom roasted coffees, carved meats and other appetizers. We have some cool door prizes to award in addition to our Mystery Barstool contest winners.
I am looking forward to meeting you. If we don't have enough time to visit at the mixer, we can head over to Allison's Restaurant for drink specials.
Will I see you there?
You are all invited to the Crofton Fine Art & Frame Gallery at Staples Corner (424 & 450) from 7-9pm to sample wine, custom roasted coffees, carved meats and other appetizers. We have some cool door prizes to award in addition to our Mystery Barstool contest winners.
I am looking forward to meeting you. If we don't have enough time to visit at the mixer, we can head over to Allison's Restaurant for drink specials.
Will I see you there?
Monday, September 10, 2007
Running into Exes
Have you ever noticed that the worse you look when you run to the grocery store, the more likely you are to run into someone that you once dated or that you were hoping to date?
Friday, September 7, 2007
Speaking of barstools...
What do you love and hate about bars?
For example, I really like those purse hooks. I also like a rail for your feet so you're not dangling.
I don't think anyone puts out bowls of nuts anymore, do they?
I used to feel grossed out by glasses hanging upside down over ashtrays. It just seems that they collect smoke. But the smoking ban has eliminated this concern in many areas.
Of course, clean bathrooms are always a plus.
For example, I really like those purse hooks. I also like a rail for your feet so you're not dangling.
I don't think anyone puts out bowls of nuts anymore, do they?
I used to feel grossed out by glasses hanging upside down over ashtrays. It just seems that they collect smoke. But the smoking ban has eliminated this concern in many areas.
Of course, clean bathrooms are always a plus.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Mystery Bar Stool Contest
Below is a barstool from a local watering hole. The first comment posted that correctly identifies the establishment from this photo will win a gift certificate to that restaurant.
Last month's winner, Mike, will be collecting his prize at the first Suburban Singles Scene Mixer next Friday. (see sidebar for details)
Aren't those purse hooks nice?
Last month's winner, Mike, will be collecting his prize at the first Suburban Singles Scene Mixer next Friday. (see sidebar for details)
Aren't those purse hooks nice?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Stereotypes
How do our preconceived ideas about different ages affect our self image as we age?
Honestly, the first time I felt bad about my age was when I turned 26. It was in a different age bracket: 18-25, 26-35. I couldn't round down anymore. I had a new mortgage to pay. I recognized a little ruefully that I wasn't a kid anymore. Well, I felt like one on the inside. My life was growing up around me.
40 was a new beginning. So even though I may have looked like I had just gone through hell, I felt hopeful. What I looked like was the least of my worries.
I still feel like a kid now - just as self-centered and prone to mood swings. But now I'm in this different set of roles at middle age. And my body is beginning to show the wear and tear of more than four decades of use and abuse. I don't know how much
longer my knees will hold out. My eyesight is doing something weird. Then there's just gravity and the constant battle with weight.
I recognize my good fortune that my body has not suffered a calamity in these four+ decades. I have met many strong, smart, sexy women that I want to be like when I grow up - well, at least when I reach their age.
Did you see Nora Ephron's latest book, "I Feel Bad About My Neck"? She cuts right to the truth about how many women feel about themselves.
Do men feel this way? Maybe not about their necks, but worry about how the affects of aging are changing your bodies? It seems that men get off easier in the media. The older man is still hot and he always gets the girl 20 years younger. That scenario isn't necessarily helpful.
I have seen the 15 year age difference in both combos of older husband or older wife. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. So I guess age isn't the factor that matters, since those odds aren't any worse than the general population.
Even so, I still put night cream on my neck.
Honestly, the first time I felt bad about my age was when I turned 26. It was in a different age bracket: 18-25, 26-35. I couldn't round down anymore. I had a new mortgage to pay. I recognized a little ruefully that I wasn't a kid anymore. Well, I felt like one on the inside. My life was growing up around me.
40 was a new beginning. So even though I may have looked like I had just gone through hell, I felt hopeful. What I looked like was the least of my worries.
I still feel like a kid now - just as self-centered and prone to mood swings. But now I'm in this different set of roles at middle age. And my body is beginning to show the wear and tear of more than four decades of use and abuse. I don't know how much
longer my knees will hold out. My eyesight is doing something weird. Then there's just gravity and the constant battle with weight.
I recognize my good fortune that my body has not suffered a calamity in these four+ decades. I have met many strong, smart, sexy women that I want to be like when I grow up - well, at least when I reach their age.
Did you see Nora Ephron's latest book, "I Feel Bad About My Neck"? She cuts right to the truth about how many women feel about themselves.Do men feel this way? Maybe not about their necks, but worry about how the affects of aging are changing your bodies? It seems that men get off easier in the media. The older man is still hot and he always gets the girl 20 years younger. That scenario isn't necessarily helpful.
I have seen the 15 year age difference in both combos of older husband or older wife. Sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. So I guess age isn't the factor that matters, since those odds aren't any worse than the general population.
Even so, I still put night cream on my neck.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Another Reason to Avoid Marriage - for women anyway
A friend of mine sent me a link to an article, backed up by lots of data, stating that boyfriends do more housework them husbands. It also found that wives do more housework that girlfriends.
Interesting.
The article does indicate that in both married an cohabiting couples, women do more housework than men. It is just that in married households, wives do even more.
“Marriage as an institution seems to have a traditionalizing effect on couples—even couples who see men and women as equal,” said co-researcher Shannon Davis, a sociologist at George Mason University in Virginia.
Does this match your experience?
Do you think this is because before marriage men are trying harder to impress, and after marriage women are trying harder to maintain the relationship? Or is it just that people who get married, in general, are more traditional in the first place?
Interesting.
The article does indicate that in both married an cohabiting couples, women do more housework than men. It is just that in married households, wives do even more.
“Marriage as an institution seems to have a traditionalizing effect on couples—even couples who see men and women as equal,” said co-researcher Shannon Davis, a sociologist at George Mason University in Virginia.
Does this match your experience?
Do you think this is because before marriage men are trying harder to impress, and after marriage women are trying harder to maintain the relationship? Or is it just that people who get married, in general, are more traditional in the first place?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Wine Tasting
Did I tell you the latest developments in the first Suburban Singles Scene After Hours Mixer at Crofton Fine Art Gallery?
The first event the Suburban Scene Magazine is sponsoring, on Friday September 14th from 7-9pm, just partnered with Hops & Vines in Odenton to add a wine tasting to our gallery event. They will also donate a bottle of wine for a door prize. Plus, I got a really cool leather tote full of Joico hair products and a gift certificate to the Hair Experience in Crofton.
I'm going to post the next mystery barstool contest next week, so keep your eyes pealed. Our first winner, Mike will receive his prize at the gallery event.
So how lucky are you at winning prizes? I haven't won anything since I won the Fleetwood Mac Rumors album at Tasker's teen club in the 7th grade. What was the coolest thing you ever won?
The first event the Suburban Scene Magazine is sponsoring, on Friday September 14th from 7-9pm, just partnered with Hops & Vines in Odenton to add a wine tasting to our gallery event. They will also donate a bottle of wine for a door prize. Plus, I got a really cool leather tote full of Joico hair products and a gift certificate to the Hair Experience in Crofton.
I'm going to post the next mystery barstool contest next week, so keep your eyes pealed. Our first winner, Mike will receive his prize at the gallery event.
So how lucky are you at winning prizes? I haven't won anything since I won the Fleetwood Mac Rumors album at Tasker's teen club in the 7th grade. What was the coolest thing you ever won?
Friday, August 24, 2007
New England Journal of Medicine
As I prepare for my October column on Senior Singles, I found a gift on the front page of yesterday's Washington Post. Did you see it? Just below the fold the headline read "Elderly Staying Sexually Active."
Surely "senior" is better than "elderly."
The study conducted by the University of Chicago was led by Stacy Tessler Lindau. They conducted face-to-face interviews across the nation with just over 3,000 men & women between the ages of 57 and 85. The article goes on to explain the physical and emotional benefits of an active sex life. Although men reported higher percentages of activity, this was said to be a result of the discrepancy in the longevity of men & women. Simply said, women tend to outlive their partner. The desire was there, but the partner wasn't.
Today's seniors benefit from medical breakthroughs in various aspects of health as well as from open conversations about sex. That's true for all of us really, no matter our age.
I can tell you that from my experience, some of the raciest comments I've heard come from my friends' mothers and my mother's friends. I'm not really surprised by this information. It does give me hope - and it suggests that I should pace myself.
Surely "senior" is better than "elderly."
The study conducted by the University of Chicago was led by Stacy Tessler Lindau. They conducted face-to-face interviews across the nation with just over 3,000 men & women between the ages of 57 and 85. The article goes on to explain the physical and emotional benefits of an active sex life. Although men reported higher percentages of activity, this was said to be a result of the discrepancy in the longevity of men & women. Simply said, women tend to outlive their partner. The desire was there, but the partner wasn't.
Today's seniors benefit from medical breakthroughs in various aspects of health as well as from open conversations about sex. That's true for all of us really, no matter our age.
I can tell you that from my experience, some of the raciest comments I've heard come from my friends' mothers and my mother's friends. I'm not really surprised by this information. It does give me hope - and it suggests that I should pace myself.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Toejam in my Teeth
I recently had trouble extracting my foot from my mouth.
My next column, at my editor's request and in keeping with the magazine's theme of "Making the Most of Your Retirement", will be about the ups & downs of dating in your senior years.
Since I'm not getting a whole lot of seniors participating on the blog, I wanted to interview a few so that I was sure to accurately represent the attitudes of local senior singles. So I asked a local businesswoman if she would mind if I asked her a few questions for background.
She said, "OK, but I wonder why I'm included in an article about seniors?"
oh no.
Apparently this is a difficult age to categorize. I was thinking AARP's 55+. She did agree that she was in her mid-fifties. whew! but sheesh!
I once dated a guy who was 56. We went to hear my mother sing in the Senior Chorale. My mother kept inviting my date to join the chorale. awkward. Thanks Mom ;-)
So anyway, I certainly don't mean to offend. What is the politically correct term these days. Do people not like being called Senior?
My next column, at my editor's request and in keeping with the magazine's theme of "Making the Most of Your Retirement", will be about the ups & downs of dating in your senior years.
Since I'm not getting a whole lot of seniors participating on the blog, I wanted to interview a few so that I was sure to accurately represent the attitudes of local senior singles. So I asked a local businesswoman if she would mind if I asked her a few questions for background.
She said, "OK, but I wonder why I'm included in an article about seniors?"
oh no.
Apparently this is a difficult age to categorize. I was thinking AARP's 55+. She did agree that she was in her mid-fifties. whew! but sheesh!
I once dated a guy who was 56. We went to hear my mother sing in the Senior Chorale. My mother kept inviting my date to join the chorale. awkward. Thanks Mom ;-)
So anyway, I certainly don't mean to offend. What is the politically correct term these days. Do people not like being called Senior?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Come Along With Me, The Best is Yet to Be
One of the tragedies of losing a spouse, either to divorce or to death, is the loss of your plans for the last quarter of your life. Not only are family holidays disrupted, but your retirement savings can be devastated. Your travel plans are canceled. Your relocation plans disrupted.
I don't know how long it takes to re-align yourself to new plans for aging without a partner. Loss of financial security is often the most stressful concern. It is so important to make yourself a financial plan.
I've been single again for over four years now. I'm finally feeling comfortable with the idea that I don't have to have a husband in my retirement plans.
There is just so much pressure to marry in our society. I think single people make married people uneasy. I know that many people just want to see you happy again, and they think marriage is the key to that happiness. But sometimes I suspect it is more that misery loves company.
I know plenty of married people who aren't enjoying their "golden years" together.
So I guess my question is...
What do you look forward to about retirement as a single person?
How different are your plans as an unmarried person?
I have several friends that I think I would enjoy being a Shuffleboard Queen with in my condo at Boca Del Vista.
Not that I would deny myself a happy marriage, I just don't see it as a requirement of my retirement anymore.
I don't know how long it takes to re-align yourself to new plans for aging without a partner. Loss of financial security is often the most stressful concern. It is so important to make yourself a financial plan.
I've been single again for over four years now. I'm finally feeling comfortable with the idea that I don't have to have a husband in my retirement plans.
There is just so much pressure to marry in our society. I think single people make married people uneasy. I know that many people just want to see you happy again, and they think marriage is the key to that happiness. But sometimes I suspect it is more that misery loves company.
I know plenty of married people who aren't enjoying their "golden years" together.
So I guess my question is...
What do you look forward to about retirement as a single person?
How different are your plans as an unmarried person?
I have several friends that I think I would enjoy being a Shuffleboard Queen with in my condo at Boca Del Vista.
Not that I would deny myself a happy marriage, I just don't see it as a requirement of my retirement anymore.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Senior Singles
In a recent conversation with my friend Peggy, also a single mom, we were marveling at how complex dating has become for us.
"How's your guy's relationship with his ex going?"
"How's your relationship with your ex's new wife?"
It seems to me that dating would be somewhat easier when the children are adults. Our relationships with our exes are ongoing because our children still live at home. So the smoothness of a date's relationship with his ex will be less relevant when the kids are more on their own. Or is this wishful thinking?
I wonder if we have anyone reading who is retired, or at least old enough to be at this stage to share your experiences.
Is dating much different when you are 55+? 75+? How is it easier? What is more difficult?
"How's your guy's relationship with his ex going?"
"How's your relationship with your ex's new wife?"
It seems to me that dating would be somewhat easier when the children are adults. Our relationships with our exes are ongoing because our children still live at home. So the smoothness of a date's relationship with his ex will be less relevant when the kids are more on their own. Or is this wishful thinking?
I wonder if we have anyone reading who is retired, or at least old enough to be at this stage to share your experiences.
Is dating much different when you are 55+? 75+? How is it easier? What is more difficult?
Monday, August 6, 2007
Mark Your Calendars
I've been away a while enjoying summer. I hope you've had some adventures too. I wanted to remind you of some upcoming events, contests, and topics.
Friday September 14th we're hosting an After Hours gathering at a lovely art gallery in Crofton: Crofton Fine Art & Frame. Owner Eric Krimmel has been gracious enough to open his doors from 7-9pm so we can meet each other in his intriguing spectrum of artwork.
Not only will there be a variety of conversation topics displayed in the gallery, but there will be some delicious refreshments. One of Eric's neighbors in the plaza at Staples Corner where the gallery is located is Mike Smollen, owner of My Butcher and More. Mike acquires the finest cuts of meat for his customers and is planning to carve up something juicy for us next month. Adding to those is the host of an October event, Super Suppers. Super Suppers will be sending over some tasty treats tho whet our appetites for an event in their kitchens on October 12th. Rob Haroth, owner of The Cosmic Bean, a local coffee roaster, will provide us with a sampling of brews for our consideration.
Isn't it wonderful that all these wonderful business owners want to be so generous?
I'm really looking forward to meeting you there.
As if that weren't enough, on Thursday September 27th, the Four Seasons Grille in Gambrills will be giving a free drink to any our our blog readers who know the name of the special drink. You will have to watch my blog for the name of the drink as the evening gets closer.
I am going to re-start the mystery barstool contest the first week of September. Watch for the picture of a barstool near you. Be the first to identify the establishment by the barstool and will a gift certificate to one of our sponsors.
If you have your calendar out, go ahead and mark October 12th as our Super Suppers night. Meet singles in the area while preparing dinners to make your upcoming week easier. A win-win! more to come on that as it gets closer.
We'll be back on track for our topics on singles soon. Our next will focus on the ups and downs of being single in your retirement. Hopefully some of our senior readers will come out to post on the blog.
Friday September 14th we're hosting an After Hours gathering at a lovely art gallery in Crofton: Crofton Fine Art & Frame. Owner Eric Krimmel has been gracious enough to open his doors from 7-9pm so we can meet each other in his intriguing spectrum of artwork.
Not only will there be a variety of conversation topics displayed in the gallery, but there will be some delicious refreshments. One of Eric's neighbors in the plaza at Staples Corner where the gallery is located is Mike Smollen, owner of My Butcher and More. Mike acquires the finest cuts of meat for his customers and is planning to carve up something juicy for us next month. Adding to those is the host of an October event, Super Suppers. Super Suppers will be sending over some tasty treats tho whet our appetites for an event in their kitchens on October 12th. Rob Haroth, owner of The Cosmic Bean, a local coffee roaster, will provide us with a sampling of brews for our consideration.
Isn't it wonderful that all these wonderful business owners want to be so generous?
I'm really looking forward to meeting you there.
As if that weren't enough, on Thursday September 27th, the Four Seasons Grille in Gambrills will be giving a free drink to any our our blog readers who know the name of the special drink. You will have to watch my blog for the name of the drink as the evening gets closer.
I am going to re-start the mystery barstool contest the first week of September. Watch for the picture of a barstool near you. Be the first to identify the establishment by the barstool and will a gift certificate to one of our sponsors.
If you have your calendar out, go ahead and mark October 12th as our Super Suppers night. Meet singles in the area while preparing dinners to make your upcoming week easier. A win-win! more to come on that as it gets closer.
We'll be back on track for our topics on singles soon. Our next will focus on the ups and downs of being single in your retirement. Hopefully some of our senior readers will come out to post on the blog.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Homework Duty
My oldest child is entering high school this year. She is starting to get into subject matter that I can't so easily help her with. Last year, I had to give myself a few minutes of review time with her textbook before I could help her.
I originally wanted their dad, the non-custodial parent, to help more with homework, but it just hasn't worked out for us. Although he does see them midweek most of the time, it is usually just for dinner or a taxi shift without enough time leftover for homework. There have been times when he has pulled up a chair, but basically, the homework gets done at my house. Sometimes when projects go to his house on the weekend, I either learn Sunday night that it is not finished or that a piece got left at his house, 45 minutes away. Because that is frustrating, I just stopped trying to push it much. If homework gets taken over there, it is because my child wants to work on it there.
I can't help but feel sometimes that he got off easy, but mostly I try to dwell on the positives, like that my children live with me primarily, or that they are pretty good about hitting the books without much nagging.
How do you divide the homework monitoring? There must be infinite ways of dividing the duties. Do you each focus on one child? one subject? certain projects? I'd love to give over the science fair!
I originally wanted their dad, the non-custodial parent, to help more with homework, but it just hasn't worked out for us. Although he does see them midweek most of the time, it is usually just for dinner or a taxi shift without enough time leftover for homework. There have been times when he has pulled up a chair, but basically, the homework gets done at my house. Sometimes when projects go to his house on the weekend, I either learn Sunday night that it is not finished or that a piece got left at his house, 45 minutes away. Because that is frustrating, I just stopped trying to push it much. If homework gets taken over there, it is because my child wants to work on it there.
I can't help but feel sometimes that he got off easy, but mostly I try to dwell on the positives, like that my children live with me primarily, or that they are pretty good about hitting the books without much nagging.
How do you divide the homework monitoring? There must be infinite ways of dividing the duties. Do you each focus on one child? one subject? certain projects? I'd love to give over the science fair!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Communication Responsibility
I'm thinking about school again. If you are divorced with children in school, I'd love to hear how you communicate with each other and the school about your children.
E-mail does make it easier. At least one of my kids' schools sent out PTA e-mail updates. They all participate in School Notes to one degree or another, posting upcoming assignments and tests. Plus there are paper newsletters that come home.
I guess my question is, how much responsibility does the non-custodial parent have in setting up these routes of communication? In my experience, the burden of the dad's inclusion rests on me. In a way, this makes sense. I'm filling out all the forms. I'm the first call in case of emergency. The backpacks get unloaded at my house. The homework get done at my house.
But even with all the electronic communication, it is still a challenge for me to keep the events filling my calendar, let alone getting them on his calendar. Inevitably, I get an announcement at the last minute or I forget to pass the information along to their father.
There's got to be a better way. I'm considering establishing a kind of "In Box" for him to check when he stops over to pick up the kids, although this would be jammed full quickly. I could also tell the kids to be sure to invite their dad.
What works for your families?
E-mail does make it easier. At least one of my kids' schools sent out PTA e-mail updates. They all participate in School Notes to one degree or another, posting upcoming assignments and tests. Plus there are paper newsletters that come home.
I guess my question is, how much responsibility does the non-custodial parent have in setting up these routes of communication? In my experience, the burden of the dad's inclusion rests on me. In a way, this makes sense. I'm filling out all the forms. I'm the first call in case of emergency. The backpacks get unloaded at my house. The homework get done at my house.
But even with all the electronic communication, it is still a challenge for me to keep the events filling my calendar, let alone getting them on his calendar. Inevitably, I get an announcement at the last minute or I forget to pass the information along to their father.
There's got to be a better way. I'm considering establishing a kind of "In Box" for him to check when he stops over to pick up the kids, although this would be jammed full quickly. I could also tell the kids to be sure to invite their dad.
What works for your families?
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Kickball - Wow!
I went to a kickball practice last Saturday and can see why this would be a very fun league to join. The Kickball League of Bowie is an adult league for men & women, not necessarily singles, but a lot of the players are. Players have to be 21 since they are sponsored by Coors and have permits to drink during practices.
"It's like childhood again,"said Bernard Brinkley, who as it turns out went to Bowie High School with me. "I thought it was the craziest thing I ever heard of," Bernard continued. "When I got on the field, it was like 5th grade. It smells like fifth grade," he said of the red rubber ball. "Then you mix in the beer and oh my gosh."
Last spring was the first season for the league starting up in Bowie and drawing players from Crofton, Odenton, Seabrook, & Crownsville. They had 12 teams that played at White Marsh fields on Thursday nights before adjourning to Jaspers, their host bar.
Larry Wachter of Bowie said that his team actually won a game last season. He explained that their lone victory had been a grudge match with a team that required they forfeit for being short on the mandated 4 girls playing. "The donated girls didn't count," Larry explained. In the rematch, Larry's team won 18 to 1. "We definitely need some girls."
Sheila Austin-Holt of Seabrook challenged Larry's claim. "We were the worst team." Although I was told that some teams were serious about winning, none of them seemed to be at this particular practice.
Kurt Hoffman of Crownsville said this was the third kickball league he had played on and the best of them all. "It's run better," he said, alluding to the beer permits. "We have more fun."
Keith Frederick, known affectionately as "Coach K" led a team called the GPA's. I asked, "Is that because you are all smart?"
Keith grinned, "It stands for something else. Use your imagination. It's an adult league."
When I finally got another player to reveal the meaning, I might be able to argue about the use of the work "adult."
So if you are an adult who would like to take a night off of being a grown-up, this is the sport for you. The age range is wide and the serious is balanced with enough silly to make it addictive.
"It's like childhood again,"said Bernard Brinkley, who as it turns out went to Bowie High School with me. "I thought it was the craziest thing I ever heard of," Bernard continued. "When I got on the field, it was like 5th grade. It smells like fifth grade," he said of the red rubber ball. "Then you mix in the beer and oh my gosh."
Last spring was the first season for the league starting up in Bowie and drawing players from Crofton, Odenton, Seabrook, & Crownsville. They had 12 teams that played at White Marsh fields on Thursday nights before adjourning to Jaspers, their host bar.
Larry Wachter of Bowie said that his team actually won a game last season. He explained that their lone victory had been a grudge match with a team that required they forfeit for being short on the mandated 4 girls playing. "The donated girls didn't count," Larry explained. In the rematch, Larry's team won 18 to 1. "We definitely need some girls."
Sheila Austin-Holt of Seabrook challenged Larry's claim. "We were the worst team." Although I was told that some teams were serious about winning, none of them seemed to be at this particular practice.
Kurt Hoffman of Crownsville said this was the third kickball league he had played on and the best of them all. "It's run better," he said, alluding to the beer permits. "We have more fun."
Keith Frederick, known affectionately as "Coach K" led a team called the GPA's. I asked, "Is that because you are all smart?"
Keith grinned, "It stands for something else. Use your imagination. It's an adult league."
When I finally got another player to reveal the meaning, I might be able to argue about the use of the work "adult."
So if you are an adult who would like to take a night off of being a grown-up, this is the sport for you. The age range is wide and the serious is balanced with enough silly to make it addictive.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Interesting Pick-Up Lines
I bet you have some good stories on this topic. I'll share two.
Once, I was at a Mexican restaurant in DC with an organization called "Professional in the City." (No, not that kind of professionals!)
Anyway, the booth in which I was sitting was semi-open on both ends - one end being occupied with a large wooden carving of a horse on his hind legs.
Once eye contact with a man at the bar was established, he walked over, leaned around the horse and asked me, "Would you like a horse's a$$?"
Memorable, and as it turns out, fairly accurate.
On a separate occasion, a hockey-playing New York firefighter was in the same pub as I, enjoying the band and the beverages. He was hoping to extend our time together and wanted to exchange phone numbers. He wrote his number on a $50 bill and gave it to me. He then wrote mine on a $100.
Impressive, huh? Not that it worked. We spoke on the phone once after that, but then, somehow, I lost his number.
Tell me one of your stories.
Once, I was at a Mexican restaurant in DC with an organization called "Professional in the City." (No, not that kind of professionals!)
Anyway, the booth in which I was sitting was semi-open on both ends - one end being occupied with a large wooden carving of a horse on his hind legs.
Once eye contact with a man at the bar was established, he walked over, leaned around the horse and asked me, "Would you like a horse's a$$?"
Memorable, and as it turns out, fairly accurate.
On a separate occasion, a hockey-playing New York firefighter was in the same pub as I, enjoying the band and the beverages. He was hoping to extend our time together and wanted to exchange phone numbers. He wrote his number on a $50 bill and gave it to me. He then wrote mine on a $100.
Impressive, huh? Not that it worked. We spoke on the phone once after that, but then, somehow, I lost his number.
Tell me one of your stories.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tell Me Your Story About...
...dating with children.
I find myself recently in new territory. I can see, however, that this territory has been worn by many. I also imagine that I am not the only one who might benefit from the sharing of your collective experiences.
So tell me, what would you try to keep in mind when meeting the child of someone you are dating? What balance are you walking, especially if your children meet the one you are dating too?
I guess the odds of that happening increase with age. Perhaps it is strange that I haven't done this before.
So tell all of us your stories. I'm sure you have some helpful advice.
I find myself recently in new territory. I can see, however, that this territory has been worn by many. I also imagine that I am not the only one who might benefit from the sharing of your collective experiences.
So tell me, what would you try to keep in mind when meeting the child of someone you are dating? What balance are you walking, especially if your children meet the one you are dating too?
I guess the odds of that happening increase with age. Perhaps it is strange that I haven't done this before.
So tell all of us your stories. I'm sure you have some helpful advice.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Kickball
I am going to go to the practice kickball game this Saturday at 4:30 at Crofton Elementary School to check these guys out. I will take pictures and report back. It looks like they have regular local games on Thursdays at 6:30. I'll report back what I learn about the season.
Anyone else wanna come check them out with me? I'm looking forward to it. I don't think I've played kickball in 20 years. I hope it is like riding a bike.
Anyone else wanna come check them out with me? I'm looking forward to it. I don't think I've played kickball in 20 years. I hope it is like riding a bike.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Sharing School Information
I know that many schools have e-mailed newsletters that are very useful when trying to keep the non-custodial parent informed about school events.
But there always seem to be programs, field trips, and ceremonies that I hear about, or remember, at the last minute. Sometimes I feel irritated to have to be the one responsible for including the other parent. "If I had only known sooner, I could have..." Parenting is never convenient. I know I can't attend everything either, whether or not I have advanced or last-minute notice. I don't want to be blamed for not notifying him about something, but there is so much going on. My plans remain flexible, which can be stressful, but I'm used to the feeling.
So how do you manage the sharing of information about your children's school events? What systems have been useful to you?
But there always seem to be programs, field trips, and ceremonies that I hear about, or remember, at the last minute. Sometimes I feel irritated to have to be the one responsible for including the other parent. "If I had only known sooner, I could have..." Parenting is never convenient. I know I can't attend everything either, whether or not I have advanced or last-minute notice. I don't want to be blamed for not notifying him about something, but there is so much going on. My plans remain flexible, which can be stressful, but I'm used to the feeling.
So how do you manage the sharing of information about your children's school events? What systems have been useful to you?
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Back to School Shopping
I know summer has just begun, but the next magazine issue will be the Back to School issue. I was wondering how all of you single parents handle the back to school shopping. Are you able to divide and conquer the supplies list with your Ex? Do you have to squeeze it in on the weekends and evenings?
My Ex doesn't live in my same town. Sometimes that is helpful when we can't find things on our shopping list. The last couple of years he has happened to have the kids on the last weekend before school starts. So, by default, he takes them shopping for some list minute items.
My kids get the Gimmes very easy. They have a poor immune system that way. I do try to make sure they have something new for the first day, but it may not be a whole new ensemble. My oldest is starting high school, so I know the first impression will be more significant this year for her.
I kind of like to shop for those special accessories because I remember their importance to me. But I think it is important for both parents to be involved in those preparations. It sends a message that we both care and are involved.
But I am fortunate to have a cooperative Ex.
How do you guys handle the prep?
My Ex doesn't live in my same town. Sometimes that is helpful when we can't find things on our shopping list. The last couple of years he has happened to have the kids on the last weekend before school starts. So, by default, he takes them shopping for some list minute items.
My kids get the Gimmes very easy. They have a poor immune system that way. I do try to make sure they have something new for the first day, but it may not be a whole new ensemble. My oldest is starting high school, so I know the first impression will be more significant this year for her.
I kind of like to shop for those special accessories because I remember their importance to me. But I think it is important for both parents to be involved in those preparations. It sends a message that we both care and are involved.
But I am fortunate to have a cooperative Ex.
How do you guys handle the prep?
Friday, June 29, 2007
Single Parent Vacationing
How do you manage vacations with your children as a single parent?
Although I have on occasion traveled alone with my children, I find it is easier to team up with other adults. Sometimes I have taken another single mom & her child, or another whole family. This summer I accompanied my parents to their hometown, Los Angeles. My children had never met my uncles & cousins out there, not to mention had never scene the Pacific. When I am taking my three kids to a new, crowded place, I really feel the need for another adult.
I suppose if I had ever managed to maintain a relationship, I could take my beau, but so far, I have found parents and girlfriends to be less complicated. Given the chance to vacation a beau with my children or without, I usually choose without. Romance and parenting don't usually work out together very well. Those are different vacations.
My parents will still love us all at the grouchy end of a long tourist day.
Here I am flirting with a tall Californian on vacation at Universal Studios this summer.
Although I have on occasion traveled alone with my children, I find it is easier to team up with other adults. Sometimes I have taken another single mom & her child, or another whole family. This summer I accompanied my parents to their hometown, Los Angeles. My children had never met my uncles & cousins out there, not to mention had never scene the Pacific. When I am taking my three kids to a new, crowded place, I really feel the need for another adult.
I suppose if I had ever managed to maintain a relationship, I could take my beau, but so far, I have found parents and girlfriends to be less complicated. Given the chance to vacation a beau with my children or without, I usually choose without. Romance and parenting don't usually work out together very well. Those are different vacations.
My parents will still love us all at the grouchy end of a long tourist day.
Here I am flirting with a tall Californian on vacation at Universal Studios this summer.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Bowie Kickball League
As a wonderful benefit of this unbelievably cool job I have, I am hearing of more local fun things to do. I wish I had time to explore them all as soon as I'd like to.
For example...
Tonight I was invited to attend the post-season party for the Bowie Kickball League at Jaspers in Crofton. Although this is not a league exclusive to singles, it sure looks like a great way to meet some fun people. You should check out their website. Watch the little news clip.
Anyway, they've just finished up for the season, but will start again, looks like next spring. Hopefully one of their guys will hop on our comments and give us some more info.
I sounds like the perfect athletic organization for me. You don't have to be young, just young at heart. Kickball is, to quote the guy in the clip, "the most, like, unathletic sport you can play." They have a beer sponsor and a local restaurant host.
The clip is from the Baltimore league, but they are starting up a new league for those of us in the suburbs. It looks like it might be a spring only season. If that's right, then I'll just have to bring all of this up again in the spring. Maybe we can put together a team of bloggers.
So, back to my opening comments, I couldn't attend the party tonight. Sorry guys! I'm sure it was fun. You will definitely be hearing more about these folks.
For example...
Tonight I was invited to attend the post-season party for the Bowie Kickball League at Jaspers in Crofton. Although this is not a league exclusive to singles, it sure looks like a great way to meet some fun people. You should check out their website. Watch the little news clip.
Anyway, they've just finished up for the season, but will start again, looks like next spring. Hopefully one of their guys will hop on our comments and give us some more info.
I sounds like the perfect athletic organization for me. You don't have to be young, just young at heart. Kickball is, to quote the guy in the clip, "the most, like, unathletic sport you can play." They have a beer sponsor and a local restaurant host.
The clip is from the Baltimore league, but they are starting up a new league for those of us in the suburbs. It looks like it might be a spring only season. If that's right, then I'll just have to bring all of this up again in the spring. Maybe we can put together a team of bloggers.
So, back to my opening comments, I couldn't attend the party tonight. Sorry guys! I'm sure it was fun. You will definitely be hearing more about these folks.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Solo Sickness
How do you single parents deal with it when you are sick? I am lucky enough to have friends and family to assist with my kids, although I still have some taxi-ing to do. My kids try to be helpful, but they just aren't bothered by the unattended tasks around the house. As things stack up, I just want to stay in bed longer. I try to avoid the really good medicine until after my last taxi shift. Sometimes, I guess we all just have to miss some things.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Dancing
I did go to the LA Singles dance last Friday. The place was packed. We barely found a parking space. If you like to dance, this is a great venue. The dj frequently announced official dances that obviously many people knew: the John Paul, the El Paso, even one called Booty Call. It felt a little like the dance unit of my gym class in junior high, but all grown up, with a cash bar & disco ball. I didn't know any of those dances and wondered how so many other people knew them. I'm going to have to take lessons somewhere I guess. There were always people on the dance floor.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Semantics
I was recently discussing sematics with a commrade in singlehood and wanted to pass the debate along.
Is it Meet Market or Meat Market?
We were discussing the merits of this dance. Maybe some folks are nervous about events labled for singles. There are regulars. Someone else might identify you as a newbie on the scene.
But so what, is my question. I think it is good to put yourself in different situations. To quote Christine Lavin, "There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut."
So if you are feeling a bit in a rut, or if you are looking for a possible new groove, then maybe I'll see you Friday at the dance.
Is it Meet Market or Meat Market?
We were discussing the merits of this dance. Maybe some folks are nervous about events labled for singles. There are regulars. Someone else might identify you as a newbie on the scene.
But so what, is my question. I think it is good to put yourself in different situations. To quote Christine Lavin, "There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut."
So if you are feeling a bit in a rut, or if you are looking for a possible new groove, then maybe I'll see you Friday at the dance.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Dance Next Friday, June 15
Who wants to go to the LA Singles dance at the Bowie Knights of Columbus Hall next Friday?
The dance starts at 8:30, but I probably can't get there until 9 or 9:30. They do have a no jeans rule and I think there is a cover charge, but it's reasonable. There is a cash bar too.
I'm going to go. I'd love to meet some of you all there. I was thinking it would be fun to have a way to identify ourselves. Since you've seen my picture, and I haven't seen you, if you recognize me, flash me a peace sign.
It will be fun to meet each other!
The dance starts at 8:30, but I probably can't get there until 9 or 9:30. They do have a no jeans rule and I think there is a cover charge, but it's reasonable. There is a cash bar too.
I'm going to go. I'd love to meet some of you all there. I was thinking it would be fun to have a way to identify ourselves. Since you've seen my picture, and I haven't seen you, if you recognize me, flash me a peace sign.
It will be fun to meet each other!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Making Connections
I had a wonderful time covering a Crofton Chamber of Commerce mixer tonight for the magazine. I hadn't been to one of their mixers before. It was at Eric Krimmel's Crofton Fine Art & Frame gallery at Staples Corner (450&424).
It was my pleasure to meet a woman who has been reading the blog without posting comments. She said she felt like she already knew me from reading. We decided to meet for coffee soon to let me have the chance to get to know her and hear her stories.
I know many of you might feel you are too busy or too private to log on for comments, but I know you also have valuable insight to add to the conversation. We would all benefit from your shared experience. So remember that you can be very anonymous if you would like. Or, you could use the profile to reveal some intriguing bits of your personality.
Anyway, Eric is hosting a mixer for the Suburban Single Scene in September, on the 14th from 7-9pm. Supper Supers will be providing some delicious appetizers and The Cosmic Bean will be sponsoring a coffee tasting. It would be so nice to meet some more of my local readers and commenters.
The nice thing about the gallery as a location for the mixer is that all the interesting artwork on display creates an easy conversation opportunity when meeting new friends.
So mark it on your calendar. Watch for more information as it unfolds.
It was my pleasure to meet a woman who has been reading the blog without posting comments. She said she felt like she already knew me from reading. We decided to meet for coffee soon to let me have the chance to get to know her and hear her stories.
I know many of you might feel you are too busy or too private to log on for comments, but I know you also have valuable insight to add to the conversation. We would all benefit from your shared experience. So remember that you can be very anonymous if you would like. Or, you could use the profile to reveal some intriguing bits of your personality.
Anyway, Eric is hosting a mixer for the Suburban Single Scene in September, on the 14th from 7-9pm. Supper Supers will be providing some delicious appetizers and The Cosmic Bean will be sponsoring a coffee tasting. It would be so nice to meet some more of my local readers and commenters.
The nice thing about the gallery as a location for the mixer is that all the interesting artwork on display creates an easy conversation opportunity when meeting new friends.
So mark it on your calendar. Watch for more information as it unfolds.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Dinner for One
What do you cook when you are eating at home alone?
Because my life is usually bustling with my kids' activities, work, friends & family, if I get the chance to have a meal home alone, I often have a bowl or cereal. I have also found that popcorn is nice with a bottle of Cabernet.
But there is something very healthy about actually cooking food just for yourself. I confess I haven't done that in a while, but aren't you worth your own effort?
If I do really cook for myself, I will most likely fix pasta with a variety of veggies and cheese. If I have chicken, or some other leftover meat, I might add that. I like spicy food too, so I grind some red pepper on top.
If you treat yourself with your own culinary skills, what do you have?
Because my life is usually bustling with my kids' activities, work, friends & family, if I get the chance to have a meal home alone, I often have a bowl or cereal. I have also found that popcorn is nice with a bottle of Cabernet.
But there is something very healthy about actually cooking food just for yourself. I confess I haven't done that in a while, but aren't you worth your own effort?
If I do really cook for myself, I will most likely fix pasta with a variety of veggies and cheese. If I have chicken, or some other leftover meat, I might add that. I like spicy food too, so I grind some red pepper on top.
If you treat yourself with your own culinary skills, what do you have?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Helpful Books
What books were helpful to you when you were becoming single again? I know that I couldn't read very much for a while. Suddenly, all the novels I had been reading seemed irrelevant. I dropped out of my book club. I just couldn't hang out with all my married friends and discuss literature anymore.
I had no idea how to get divorced, particularly without ruining my kids which was my foremost concern. I had not talked to many people yet about the demise of my marriage, but needed some direction. The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons served as a survival guide in those first few months. Ahrons introduced me to the term "binuclear family" as an option to "broken home." Divorce, Ahrons explains, doesn't end your family, it redefines it.
Although not related to divorce or grief recovery, the first book that I read in a year was a collection of humorous essays by an Arizona writer named Laurie Notaro. Her first book, the Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Guide had me laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face. She helped me break the ice on my reading freeze.
Again, not a divorce recovery book, but Anne Lamott's Plan B was also inspiring and relieving. Her newest book, Grace Eventually, is a great example of how to view the accumulation of all your bad decisions and good intentions.
What have you read that was helpful?
I had no idea how to get divorced, particularly without ruining my kids which was my foremost concern. I had not talked to many people yet about the demise of my marriage, but needed some direction. The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons served as a survival guide in those first few months. Ahrons introduced me to the term "binuclear family" as an option to "broken home." Divorce, Ahrons explains, doesn't end your family, it redefines it.
Although not related to divorce or grief recovery, the first book that I read in a year was a collection of humorous essays by an Arizona writer named Laurie Notaro. Her first book, the Idiot Girl's Action Adventure Guide had me laughing so hard tears were rolling down my face. She helped me break the ice on my reading freeze.
Again, not a divorce recovery book, but Anne Lamott's Plan B was also inspiring and relieving. Her newest book, Grace Eventually, is a great example of how to view the accumulation of all your bad decisions and good intentions.
What have you read that was helpful?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Church Singles
Do any of you go to a church that has a good singles support group?
My church has tried to start one, but in a way it's like re-inventing the wheel. There are already some good groups out there.
So ours has just become an e-mail list that goes out every now and then. It seems that church groups oftne have more women than men. I wonder if that has to do with custody arrangements.
My church has tried to start one, but in a way it's like re-inventing the wheel. There are already some good groups out there.
So ours has just become an e-mail list that goes out every now and then. It seems that church groups oftne have more women than men. I wonder if that has to do with custody arrangements.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Holiday Weekend Fun
What have you all been doing this Memorial Day? My neighbor's family is in town for Rolling Thunder in DC. That reminds me that tonight would be an excellent night for people watching downtown. I'm heading out.
I had a few invitations to cook-outs and picnics. A member of Changing Focus was having one that sounded fun. Did anyone go? How was it? I wish I could go to them all!
I helped march with my sister's Abrakadoodle float in the town parade. Even though it was sweaty hot, I'm glad the warm weather is finally here!
I did get down to Annapolis for a lovely date on the Schooner Woodwind. Have you guys ever tried that? It was the perfect weather for a sunset sail. I even got to crank the winch on the main mast for the heaviest sail. And we met the lead singer from South Africa's "Peace Train" which made for interesting conversation.
What are some fun date destinations near you?
I had a few invitations to cook-outs and picnics. A member of Changing Focus was having one that sounded fun. Did anyone go? How was it? I wish I could go to them all!
I helped march with my sister's Abrakadoodle float in the town parade. Even though it was sweaty hot, I'm glad the warm weather is finally here!
I did get down to Annapolis for a lovely date on the Schooner Woodwind. Have you guys ever tried that? It was the perfect weather for a sunset sail. I even got to crank the winch on the main mast for the heaviest sail. And we met the lead singer from South Africa's "Peace Train" which made for interesting conversation.
What are some fun date destinations near you?
Friday, May 25, 2007
First Mystery Bar Stool
I went back to Changing Focus in Crofton again tonight. I was disappointed that I had to go significantly late because of my daughter's concert. Her concert was delightful, but it sounds like I missed a lot of a good conversation.
Not to worry though, I was able to continue the conversation with about 25 really cool and interesting local men and women at a nearby dining establishment.
Do you recognize the restaurant based on the photo below of one of their bar stools?
Not to worry though, I was able to continue the conversation with about 25 really cool and interesting local men and women at a nearby dining establishment.
Do you recognize the restaurant based on the photo below of one of their bar stools?
Monday, May 21, 2007
Facial Hair
Ladies -
What's your preference: moustache or no? beard or no?
In a standard deck of cards, the King of Hearts is the only king with no moustache. Hhmmm, is a smooth shave universally accepted for better kissing?
But if I were a man, I bet I would hate to shave every day.
I prefer a smooth shave, although a moustache can be fine if it is soft. The newly trimmed moustache can be treacherous. I've never kissed anyone with a twirly waxed moustache, but I'm not putting on my list of things to try before I die either.
What's your preference: moustache or no? beard or no?
In a standard deck of cards, the King of Hearts is the only king with no moustache. Hhmmm, is a smooth shave universally accepted for better kissing?
But if I were a man, I bet I would hate to shave every day.
I prefer a smooth shave, although a moustache can be fine if it is soft. The newly trimmed moustache can be treacherous. I've never kissed anyone with a twirly waxed moustache, but I'm not putting on my list of things to try before I die either.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Appearance vs Reality
During the first year of my second singlehood, many well-meaning friends tried to encourage me by describing how strong I was for surviving this storm. Usually I just accepted the comment as it was intended, but inside I had a comeback.
What choice did I have? Was just moving and breathing the same as being strong? I hadn't wanted to be strong in this way. I was barely hanging on to functionality. My parental duties kept me moving, even if it was haltingly.
Now that more time has passed, people say that less often. Most days now I do feel stronger than when I was married. I know all the right things to say to reassure those concerned that I am fine. I emphasize all the reasons I'm glad to be single. Single is preferable to a bad marriage to be sure. Mostly I believe myself.
So people think I'm strong. But many days, more often many nights, I don't feel strong at all. I wish my life had gone along with my hopes and plans. Sometimes I wish it were all different.
Do you know what I mean?
What choice did I have? Was just moving and breathing the same as being strong? I hadn't wanted to be strong in this way. I was barely hanging on to functionality. My parental duties kept me moving, even if it was haltingly.
Now that more time has passed, people say that less often. Most days now I do feel stronger than when I was married. I know all the right things to say to reassure those concerned that I am fine. I emphasize all the reasons I'm glad to be single. Single is preferable to a bad marriage to be sure. Mostly I believe myself.
So people think I'm strong. But many days, more often many nights, I don't feel strong at all. I wish my life had gone along with my hopes and plans. Sometimes I wish it were all different.
Do you know what I mean?
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Where to Spill
I had a helpful reminder today that not everyone I meet wants an update on the latest details about my divorce or last relationship. At the slightest nudge, a contractor working in my house spilled his guts to me about his current sad state of affairs.
Poor guy. This big manly man was heartbroken and couldn't think of much else. While I was listening and listening I found myself wondering, did I ask?
I was trying to be patient because I remember that stage. It sucks. But I don't know that guy and the whole bus stop hecticness was going on at my house. He just sucked my neighbors into the conversation: two other single moms. We had a hard time cutting him off. We had to let him wind down on his own.
It is great to have a place where you can safely spill when you're overflowing. I had a friend or two I could call anytime. Some available in person. Some available on-line. I try to pay that favor forward by listening.
Spill here. If I haven't been there, someone else in this conversation has. It helps just to spill.
But you probably shouldn't do it to your customers.
Who did you spill on?
Did you ever catch yourself going on and on too much?
Poor guy. This big manly man was heartbroken and couldn't think of much else. While I was listening and listening I found myself wondering, did I ask?
I was trying to be patient because I remember that stage. It sucks. But I don't know that guy and the whole bus stop hecticness was going on at my house. He just sucked my neighbors into the conversation: two other single moms. We had a hard time cutting him off. We had to let him wind down on his own.
It is great to have a place where you can safely spill when you're overflowing. I had a friend or two I could call anytime. Some available in person. Some available on-line. I try to pay that favor forward by listening.
Spill here. If I haven't been there, someone else in this conversation has. It helps just to spill.
But you probably shouldn't do it to your customers.
Who did you spill on?
Did you ever catch yourself going on and on too much?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
What not to say
One of my alert readers found this link about
First Date Conversation Advice
Have you ever been on a date and the person you were with said something that just ended it for you on the spot? I mean unintentionally ending the possible relationship.
If you share that with us, maybe we won't make the same mistake.
First Date Conversation Advice
Have you ever been on a date and the person you were with said something that just ended it for you on the spot? I mean unintentionally ending the possible relationship.
If you share that with us, maybe we won't make the same mistake.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Changing Focus
I have had a wonderful writing assignment for the magazine. I was assigned to write the Non-Profit of the Month feature for the June issue on Changing Focus, a Crofton based support group for people going through the crisis of divorce or death of a spouse.
I went to this group twice about a year into my separation and could tell it was a comfortable, useful place to be. Unfortunately, the weeknight meetings were stressful to attend with my kids so little and my family already supporting me on many other fronts. I was in therapy and on anti-depressants at the time, so I was trying to dig out from the rubble.
Now, three years later, I was required to go. I attended the divorce support group. I immediately felt the welcoming, safe atmosphere. The conversations were helpful. Everyone there understood. They were all happy for the publicity that I was going to bring them through the magazine and generously offered their testimonials about how CF helped them through a tough time.
Several participants identified the usefulness of hearing divorce stories from the opposite sex. It was good to hear how the other side thinks in a safe environment.
Did you every go to a support group? What was good about it?
I went to this group twice about a year into my separation and could tell it was a comfortable, useful place to be. Unfortunately, the weeknight meetings were stressful to attend with my kids so little and my family already supporting me on many other fronts. I was in therapy and on anti-depressants at the time, so I was trying to dig out from the rubble.
Now, three years later, I was required to go. I attended the divorce support group. I immediately felt the welcoming, safe atmosphere. The conversations were helpful. Everyone there understood. They were all happy for the publicity that I was going to bring them through the magazine and generously offered their testimonials about how CF helped them through a tough time.
Several participants identified the usefulness of hearing divorce stories from the opposite sex. It was good to hear how the other side thinks in a safe environment.
Did you every go to a support group? What was good about it?
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Mobile Flirtation
Do you ever flirt with passing motorists?
The latest issue of US News & World Report ranks my home county as the sixth worst traffic in the country. Numbers 1-4 are all NYC feeders. I spend a lot of time driving, although a lot of it is shuttling children and so of course, I behave myself then. But otherwise, why not make the most of that time? A lot of folks could use a smile, right?
Really mobile flirtation at its best is just catching someone's eye and smiling, maybe a nod of the head or peering over the tops of your sunglasses. I don't know if I'd try it at a dead stop. But it can be fun.
Once, I was driving around here and I noticed a big shiny pick-up truck ahead of me with a WV license plate that had two extra tires in the back. It struck me as silly to have four tires in the back here in the heart of suburbia. Where was he going? I thought, What is it about those WV boys and their trucks?
When I passed the truck I thought I'd glance over and see if it was actually a WV guy driving. He caught me checking him out and took it as invitation. He passed me and beeped and waved. That was fine. I laughed and waved back, having unintentionally started this.
But then he started honking and waving at me to follow him off the next exit. Really? Did he really think all I needed was a honk and a wave? I have felt needy before, but I do require a bit more effort than a honk and a wave.
Do you have any stories from the road?
The latest issue of US News & World Report ranks my home county as the sixth worst traffic in the country. Numbers 1-4 are all NYC feeders. I spend a lot of time driving, although a lot of it is shuttling children and so of course, I behave myself then. But otherwise, why not make the most of that time? A lot of folks could use a smile, right?
Really mobile flirtation at its best is just catching someone's eye and smiling, maybe a nod of the head or peering over the tops of your sunglasses. I don't know if I'd try it at a dead stop. But it can be fun.
Once, I was driving around here and I noticed a big shiny pick-up truck ahead of me with a WV license plate that had two extra tires in the back. It struck me as silly to have four tires in the back here in the heart of suburbia. Where was he going? I thought, What is it about those WV boys and their trucks?
When I passed the truck I thought I'd glance over and see if it was actually a WV guy driving. He caught me checking him out and took it as invitation. He passed me and beeped and waved. That was fine. I laughed and waved back, having unintentionally started this.
But then he started honking and waving at me to follow him off the next exit. Really? Did he really think all I needed was a honk and a wave? I have felt needy before, but I do require a bit more effort than a honk and a wave.
Do you have any stories from the road?
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Bouncing Back
After my period of wallowing, I slowly started taking better care of myself. I do remember one moment when I just felt irritated with the Ex and myself for having allowed myself to get so low. Why was I allowing myself to be miserable?
One of the first steps toward recovery was getting back to exercise. I had a friend who persisted in inviting me to join her on her daily walk. Reluctant at first, I just agreed to two mornings a week. But slowly, I incorporated more.
Do you find that, just as unhealthy choices lead to more unhealthy choices in a downward spiral, that healthy choices can lead you back into an upward spiral? For example, after a third glass of wine, a bag of chips can seem like a single serving: bad leading to bad.
But once I started walking more, I hated to cancel out my effort with stupid eating habits. Slowly, I started getting healthier: good leading to good.
What baby steps toward recovering yourself did you make, or are you currently making? Maybe you are just considering that your wallowing time is coming to an end. It is tiresome after a while, isn't it? Is it time to take care of yourself? If you don't, who will?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Shell Shocked
In retrospect, I'm not sure how surprised I am that I am single. This certainly wasn't Plan A. On the surface of things, my marriage seemed great. When people asked if we fought, I would say that we only ever had one fight, but it was still unresolved. I think I knew where things were headed, I just didn't want to admit it. And I suppose that disagreement we had is resolved now.
Even so, I didn't have a self-concept of myself as single. I felt like I had failed not only my marriage, but also myself and my children.
Those first months were more of a grieving process than anything. I needed time to wallow, and that is exactly what I did.
Although I'm not proud of those months, in a way I think they were a necessary part of the process. I stayed up too late. I played a lot of computer solitaire. I drank way too much, which made late night snacking a habit. I wasn't exercising and I gained a significant amount of weight.
My months of wallowing did have a bit of a silver lining. My children became more independent. Even though I make much healthier choices for myself now and am able to focus on productive aspects of my life, my children still fix their own breakfasts and pack their own school lunches. I don't remember teaching them that they had too, I just quit doing it for them because I felt so miserable in the morning.
In this way, they were one of my first lines of support. They never complained. We all just did what we had to do. I bet it would have been harder if they were younger.
How did you react when you first un-coupled?
Even so, I didn't have a self-concept of myself as single. I felt like I had failed not only my marriage, but also myself and my children.
Those first months were more of a grieving process than anything. I needed time to wallow, and that is exactly what I did.
Although I'm not proud of those months, in a way I think they were a necessary part of the process. I stayed up too late. I played a lot of computer solitaire. I drank way too much, which made late night snacking a habit. I wasn't exercising and I gained a significant amount of weight.
My months of wallowing did have a bit of a silver lining. My children became more independent. Even though I make much healthier choices for myself now and am able to focus on productive aspects of my life, my children still fix their own breakfasts and pack their own school lunches. I don't remember teaching them that they had too, I just quit doing it for them because I felt so miserable in the morning.
In this way, they were one of my first lines of support. They never complained. We all just did what we had to do. I bet it would have been harder if they were younger.
How did you react when you first un-coupled?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Left Hand Scan
Do you find yourself making furtive glances at left hands for rings? I don't think I ever did this when I was married. In many cases, the ring doesn't change the conversation. But if the conversation is looking promising, I catch myself trying to sneak a peak.
No ring doesn't mean they are not married. In many professions, rings are a safety hazard. But a ring usually means they are married and I'm moving on, again, depending on the context of the conversation.
What about you?
No ring doesn't mean they are not married. In many professions, rings are a safety hazard. But a ring usually means they are married and I'm moving on, again, depending on the context of the conversation.
What about you?
Friday, April 20, 2007
Deliberately Single
I hate to assume that just because someone is single that they want to get married. Judging from the e-Harmony commercials, obviously many many do. But not everybody.
I suppose the need to mate is an ancient urge designed to preserve the species. So there must be, on some level, a biological factor.
Then there is the societal factor instilled in the very young through the happily-ever-after endings that teaches that happiness begins with marriage.
I am not opposed to marriage, just to bad marriages. I know a lot of people in great marriages who give me hope. I also know a lot of unhappily married people. Marriage, in and of itself, cannot provide happiness.
So I've been wondering how many singles out there have never wanted to get married.
I understand coming to that place where it no longer holds an allure. I won't rule it out as a possiblity. I just see it as less and less likely.
But are there folks out there who, for whatever reason, were never drawn to marriage? I wonder how you skated around the push to marry.
It seems that once you can get over the idea of wanting to get married, you have a much better chance to be content and happy.
I suppose the need to mate is an ancient urge designed to preserve the species. So there must be, on some level, a biological factor.
Then there is the societal factor instilled in the very young through the happily-ever-after endings that teaches that happiness begins with marriage.
I am not opposed to marriage, just to bad marriages. I know a lot of people in great marriages who give me hope. I also know a lot of unhappily married people. Marriage, in and of itself, cannot provide happiness.
So I've been wondering how many singles out there have never wanted to get married.
I understand coming to that place where it no longer holds an allure. I won't rule it out as a possiblity. I just see it as less and less likely.
But are there folks out there who, for whatever reason, were never drawn to marriage? I wonder how you skated around the push to marry.
It seems that once you can get over the idea of wanting to get married, you have a much better chance to be content and happy.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Reality Singles
The last weekend of Spring Break, my teenage daughter indulged in a marathon of a "reality" tv show called "Outback Jack." After a few episodes in a row, I decided to check out what my impressionable daughter was watching.
yikes!
On this show, like I suppose many before them, Outback Jack has to select a bride by process of elimination through a series of tasks and events. This show was like Crocodile Dundee meets the Bachelor.
When I was my daughter's age, I would cringe when my mother was watching tv with me and a love scene came on. She was a nurse at Great Southeast Hospital in Washington DC in the women's health unit. She was treating women who were dying of stds. So I knew she couldn't help herself. She had to turn the tv show into a lessons. Sometimes my sister and I would catch each other's eye and brace for the inevitable lecture. It made me want to turn the show off.
Well, my daughter has a divorced mother. So when I learned that the "winner" had to marry the guy, I couldn't help myself. I had to turn it into a lecture.
- marriage isn't a game
- this isn't reality
- why are they crying when they get eliminated? they just met the guy!
- why is he crying when he eliminates someone? would he prefer polygamy?
- what are they going to do when they have to live together without a camera crew and scheduled tasks?
- what will dishes and laundry and babies and carpools do to their "love?"
My daughter asked me to leave to room. I was ruining it.
Gladly.
Do you guys watch these shows where beautiful people line up to fight for another's affection? Are the producers married? Are they mocking us?
But then I think, how could they do worse than I did? I was careful, thoughtful, took my time. We got to know each others' families, attended church together, had common goals, and it still ended in divorce. Who am I to criticize?
yikes!
On this show, like I suppose many before them, Outback Jack has to select a bride by process of elimination through a series of tasks and events. This show was like Crocodile Dundee meets the Bachelor.
When I was my daughter's age, I would cringe when my mother was watching tv with me and a love scene came on. She was a nurse at Great Southeast Hospital in Washington DC in the women's health unit. She was treating women who were dying of stds. So I knew she couldn't help herself. She had to turn the tv show into a lessons. Sometimes my sister and I would catch each other's eye and brace for the inevitable lecture. It made me want to turn the show off.
Well, my daughter has a divorced mother. So when I learned that the "winner" had to marry the guy, I couldn't help myself. I had to turn it into a lecture.
- marriage isn't a game
- this isn't reality
- why are they crying when they get eliminated? they just met the guy!
- why is he crying when he eliminates someone? would he prefer polygamy?
- what are they going to do when they have to live together without a camera crew and scheduled tasks?
- what will dishes and laundry and babies and carpools do to their "love?"
My daughter asked me to leave to room. I was ruining it.
Gladly.
Do you guys watch these shows where beautiful people line up to fight for another's affection? Are the producers married? Are they mocking us?
But then I think, how could they do worse than I did? I was careful, thoughtful, took my time. We got to know each others' families, attended church together, had common goals, and it still ended in divorce. Who am I to criticize?
Friday, April 13, 2007
Dating Gone Badly
Were you ever on a date and you knew immediately that this was not the person for you? Maybe it was a rapid series of rising red flags. Are you far enough from it to laugh about it now?
Here's one of my stories...
I tried a date with a man who was a soccer coach. It was a second date in the afternoon and a bit unscheduled. I knew he had to coach in the evening, but he arrived at noon at my house - in his coaching attire. I had dressed pretty casual, but not in jersey knit elastic waisted shorts and a t-shirt.
But ok, I tried to be optimistic. I don't mean to be superficial. We decided on lunch and an Adam Sandler movie. Before departing my house, he used my restroom and picked up a little book I had in there entitled "What Every Woman Should Do Once." He thought it would be a fun conversation starter over lunch. Ok, why not.
When we got in his car, he asked if I would mind if he carried a "man purse." He said he needed it since he didn't have pockets. I was wondering why he chose shorts with no pockets. I offered to carry his wallet in my purse. The shorts were bad enough. I couldn't do the man-purse too.
He flipped through the book at the restaurant. He didn't know what it meant to "Go Commando." Neither had he ever heard of the "Kama Sutra." Not good signs. I wasn't going to tell him. But OK, maybe he had just been sheltered.
After the movie I asked if we could stop in the book store. I had been wanting to add some classic jazz to my collection: Ella, Billie, or Cab. He put on some of those headphones and had the store stereo play Billy Joel. He couldn't help himself; he had to sing and dance. Like many people with headphones on, he was neither aware of how loud he was, nor the fact that he didn't really know the words.
I knew for sure then. I can overlook one flaw, even two or three. I'm sure there is a lid for this pot, but mine wasn't going to fit.
Here's one of my stories...
I tried a date with a man who was a soccer coach. It was a second date in the afternoon and a bit unscheduled. I knew he had to coach in the evening, but he arrived at noon at my house - in his coaching attire. I had dressed pretty casual, but not in jersey knit elastic waisted shorts and a t-shirt.
But ok, I tried to be optimistic. I don't mean to be superficial. We decided on lunch and an Adam Sandler movie. Before departing my house, he used my restroom and picked up a little book I had in there entitled "What Every Woman Should Do Once." He thought it would be a fun conversation starter over lunch. Ok, why not.
When we got in his car, he asked if I would mind if he carried a "man purse." He said he needed it since he didn't have pockets. I was wondering why he chose shorts with no pockets. I offered to carry his wallet in my purse. The shorts were bad enough. I couldn't do the man-purse too.
He flipped through the book at the restaurant. He didn't know what it meant to "Go Commando." Neither had he ever heard of the "Kama Sutra." Not good signs. I wasn't going to tell him. But OK, maybe he had just been sheltered.
After the movie I asked if we could stop in the book store. I had been wanting to add some classic jazz to my collection: Ella, Billie, or Cab. He put on some of those headphones and had the store stereo play Billy Joel. He couldn't help himself; he had to sing and dance. Like many people with headphones on, he was neither aware of how loud he was, nor the fact that he didn't really know the words.
I knew for sure then. I can overlook one flaw, even two or three. I'm sure there is a lid for this pot, but mine wasn't going to fit.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Brainstorm
I would like to think of a better name for this blog/column. Suburban Singles Scene is good because it is specific and fits with the name of the sponsoring magazine, Suburban Scene. But "singles scene" seems a little hackneyed. SSS has historical military connotations, although the "selective" part is important to singles. I can't make the symbol for S cubed on blogger.
So since we're talking about names, how about helping me think of some options.
Here's what's off the top of my head:
"Out of the Box" - sounds like a kids tv show
"Table for One" - sound a bit lonely
"Independent Living"
"Happily Ever After"
"Off the Hook" - too cynical?
"Self-Reliance" -
"Scot Free" - not good if you liked Scott
"Individual Bliss"
"Singular Integrity"
"Inner Gyroscope"
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
New Names
I decided to keep my married name because it seemed easier to have the same last name as my children. Also, I hate all the paperwork and phone calling to change everything. Have you been to the MVA lately? I'm getting close to the point where I will have had my "married" name as long as my maiden name. I don't know if I'll ever change back, although I don't really feel like it is my name. Maybe I'll take my blogger name.
I certainly wouldn't take anyone else's name again. I don't know if I'll encourage my daughters to change their names if they marry either. Of course, they are free to do as they wish. I suppose there is some optimism in taking your husband's name.
What do you think? Guys, if you considered marriage, would you want her to change her name? What about your daughters? Does is bug you that your Ex still has your last name?
I certainly wouldn't take anyone else's name again. I don't know if I'll encourage my daughters to change their names if they marry either. Of course, they are free to do as they wish. I suppose there is some optimism in taking your husband's name.
What do you think? Guys, if you considered marriage, would you want her to change her name? What about your daughters? Does is bug you that your Ex still has your last name?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Creating your own space
When you are single, your home is yours to decorate however you like. Are you living in a home you once shared with your spouse? How do you make it yours? Do you have to have a hodge-podge of salvaged furniture from when you moved out? Are you still using lawn furniture indoors?
Sometimes moving into singlehood means leaving a lot of your possessions behind. Your domestic budget may have just been reduced by half or more. So how do you take back your space?
I still live in the home I shared with the Ex. Because of the kids and the market, I have decided to stay where I am, but I needed to make the space mine. Some decorations had to com
e down right away. I repainted my bedroom and the kitchen. I was happy to lose the pennants in the basement. (Although he never displayed them in his new home either.) I invested in my first piece of original artwork, a portrait on wood by Darrell Ezekiel. I didn't have to ask for anyone's approval but myself. This piece spoke to me on a few levels. It was a small step to claiming my home for myself.
Sometimes moving into singlehood means leaving a lot of your possessions behind. Your domestic budget may have just been reduced by half or more. So how do you take back your space?
I still live in the home I shared with the Ex. Because of the kids and the market, I have decided to stay where I am, but I needed to make the space mine. Some decorations had to com
e down right away. I repainted my bedroom and the kitchen. I was happy to lose the pennants in the basement. (Although he never displayed them in his new home either.) I invested in my first piece of original artwork, a portrait on wood by Darrell Ezekiel. I didn't have to ask for anyone's approval but myself. This piece spoke to me on a few levels. It was a small step to claiming my home for myself.
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