Another Reason to Avoid Marriage - for women anyway

A friend of mine sent me a link to an article, backed up by lots of data, stating that boyfriends do more housework them husbands. It also found that wives do more housework that girlfriends.

Interesting.
The article does indicate that in both married an cohabiting couples, women do more housework than men. It is just that in married households, wives do even more.

“Marriage as an institution seems to have a traditionalizing effect on couples—even couples who see men and women as equal,” said co-researcher Shannon Davis, a sociologist at George Mason University in Virginia.

Does this match your experience?

Do you think this is because before marriage men are trying harder to impress, and after marriage women are trying harder to maintain the relationship? Or is it just that people who get married, in general, are more traditional in the first place?

Wine Tasting

Did I tell you the latest developments in the first Suburban Singles Scene After Hours Mixer at Crofton Fine Art Gallery?

The first event the Suburban Scene Magazine is sponsoring, on Friday September 14th from 7-9pm, just partnered with Hops & Vines in Odenton to add a wine tasting to our gallery event. They will also donate a bottle of wine for a door prize. Plus, I got a really cool leather tote full of Joico hair products and a gift certificate to the Hair Experience in Crofton.

I'm going to post the next mystery barstool contest next week, so keep your eyes pealed. Our first winner, Mike will receive his prize at the gallery event.

So how lucky are you at winning prizes? I haven't won anything since I won the Fleetwood Mac Rumors album at Tasker's teen club in the 7th grade. What was the coolest thing you ever won?

New England Journal of Medicine

As I prepare for my October column on Senior Singles, I found a gift on the front page of yesterday's Washington Post. Did you see it? Just below the fold the headline read "Elderly Staying Sexually Active."

Surely "senior" is better than "elderly."

The study conducted by the University of Chicago was led by Stacy Tessler Lindau. They conducted face-to-face interviews across the nation with just over 3,000 men & women between the ages of 57 and 85. The article goes on to explain the physical and emotional benefits of an active sex life. Although men reported higher percentages of activity, this was said to be a result of the discrepancy in the longevity of men & women. Simply said, women tend to outlive their partner. The desire was there, but the partner wasn't.


Today's seniors benefit from medical breakthroughs in various aspects of health as well as from open conversations about sex. That's true for all of us really, no matter our age.

I can tell you that from my experience, some of the raciest comments I've heard come from my friends' mothers and my mother's friends. I'm not really surprised by this information. It does give me hope - and it suggests that I should pace myself.

Toejam in my Teeth

I recently had trouble extracting my foot from my mouth.

My next column, at my editor's request and in keeping with the magazine's theme of "Making the Most of Your Retirement", will be about the ups & downs of dating in your senior years.

Since I'm not getting a whole lot of seniors participating on the blog, I wanted to interview a few so that I was sure to accurately represent the attitudes of local senior singles. So I asked a local businesswoman if she would mind if I asked her a few questions for background.

She said, "OK, but I wonder why I'm included in an article about seniors?"

oh no.
Apparently this is a difficult age to categorize. I was thinking AARP's 55+. She did agree that she was in her mid-fifties. whew! but sheesh!

I once dated a guy who was 56. We went to hear my mother sing in the Senior Chorale. My mother kept inviting my date to join the chorale. awkward. Thanks Mom ;-)

So anyway, I certainly don't mean to offend. What is the politically correct term these days. Do people not like being called Senior?

Come Along With Me, The Best is Yet to Be

One of the tragedies of losing a spouse, either to divorce or to death, is the loss of your plans for the last quarter of your life. Not only are family holidays disrupted, but your retirement savings can be devastated. Your travel plans are canceled. Your relocation plans disrupted.

I don't know how long it takes to re-align yourself to new plans for aging without a partner. Loss of financial security is often the most stressful concern. It is so important to make yourself a financial plan.

I've been single again for over four years now. I'm finally feeling comfortable with the idea that I don't have to have a husband in my retirement plans.

There is just so much pressure to marry in our society. I think single people make married people uneasy. I know that many people just want to see you happy again, and they think marriage is the key to that happiness. But sometimes I suspect it is more that misery loves company.

I know plenty of married people who aren't enjoying their "golden years" together.

So I guess my question is...
What do you look forward to about retirement as a single person?
How different are your plans as an unmarried person?

I have several friends that I think I would enjoy being a Shuffleboard Queen with in my condo at Boca Del Vista.


Not that I would deny myself a happy marriage, I just don't see it as a requirement of my retirement anymore.

Senior Singles

In a recent conversation with my friend Peggy, also a single mom, we were marveling at how complex dating has become for us.
"How's your guy's relationship with his ex going?"
"How's your relationship with your ex's new wife?"

It seems to me that dating would be somewhat easier when the children are adults. Our relationships with our exes are ongoing because our children still live at home. So the smoothness of a date's relationship with his ex will be less relevant when the kids are more on their own. Or is this wishful thinking?

I wonder if we have anyone reading who is retired, or at least old enough to be at this stage to share your experiences.

Is dating much different when you are 55+? 75+? How is it easier? What is more difficult?

Mark Your Calendars

I've been away a while enjoying summer. I hope you've had some adventures too. I wanted to remind you of some upcoming events, contests, and topics.

Friday September 14th we're hosting an After Hours gathering at a lovely art gallery in Crofton: Crofton Fine Art & Frame. Owner Eric Krimmel has been gracious enough to open his doors from 7-9pm so we can meet each other in his intriguing spectrum of artwork.

Not only will there be a variety of conversation topics displayed in the gallery, but there will be some delicious refreshments. One of Eric's neighbors in the plaza at Staples Corner where the gallery is located is Mike Smollen, owner of My Butcher and More. Mike acquires the finest cuts of meat for his customers and is planning to carve up something juicy for us next month. Adding to those is the host of an October event, Super Suppers. Super Suppers will be sending over some tasty treats tho whet our appetites for an event in their kitchens on October 12th. Rob Haroth, owner of The Cosmic Bean, a local coffee roaster, will provide us with a sampling of brews for our consideration.

Isn't it wonderful that all these wonderful business owners want to be so generous?
I'm really looking forward to meeting you there.

As if that weren't enough, on Thursday September 27th, the Four Seasons Grille in Gambrills will be giving a free drink to any our our blog readers who know the name of the special drink. You will have to watch my blog for the name of the drink as the evening gets closer.

I am going to re-start the mystery barstool contest the first week of September. Watch for the picture of a barstool near you. Be the first to identify the establishment by the barstool and will a gift certificate to one of our sponsors.

If you have your calendar out, go ahead and mark October 12th as our Super Suppers night. Meet singles in the area while preparing dinners to make your upcoming week easier. A win-win! more to come on that as it gets closer.

We'll be back on track for our topics on singles soon. Our next will focus on the ups and downs of being single in your retirement. Hopefully some of our senior readers will come out to post on the blog.