Whether or not you intended to be single at this point in your life, your new status gives you a chance for a "do-over." Once you have recovered from the shock of the change, you can start again. Undoubtedly, you will make mistakes, but will they be the same ones or new mistakes? Some mistakes are too fun to only make once. Some mistakes you don't even realize you have made.
Today this country is celebrating Dr. King's birthday. I can't help but think of how far this country has come in accepting people of other races - and how far we have yet to go. I think it takes a new generation to really bring about change. My children are much more open. I'm glad they go to a racially diverse school. I hope things will improve even more when they are in charge.
Now that you have been handed the opportunity to date again, perhaps decades after the last time you dated, would you consider dating outside of your race? If you have, how did that affect your relationship? I think it would be sad to never consider half the world based solely on skin pigmentation. Inter-racial relationships are quite common and, from my vantage point, they seem to be more accepted than ever before.
What has been your experience?
About Me
- AM Kingsfield
- Maryland, United States
- I am a yoga teacher and divorced mother of three fantastic kids. Having outlived Plan A, I have come to love living in Plan B - actually I think I'm on Plan H by now. I love to visit with friends on my front porch. Pull up a chair, kick up your feet, and tell me your story!
AM as Construction Girl
6 comments:
AM,
I would consider dating outside my race only if it was a 10 K or a Marathon. HA !!!!
All joking aside, It has not happened here. Although I once had a native Jamaican who was very interested in me at work from a previous job - it may have been more cultural differences that had presented obstacles rather than say, just "skin color".
I think you have to look at it more on a case by case basis --- Halle Berry, for example, I think has a lot more going for her cross culturally, than say Oprah (who is more true to her African roots & herritage)
For the pure power, intellect and dominatrix experience it might be real rush to go out to dinner with Dr. Condi Rice, but so far she has not returned any of my calls. Most men I am afraid, would probably be very intimidated by her -- which is probably why she is and will likely remain single. Her itinerary and international travel schedule don't seem to help her situation much either.
I would be willing to bet that the ladies would be far more inclined to accept a date from Denzel Washington than say Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson -- for much the same reasons that I had mentioned above.
True love knows no boudaries, that applies in this situation too. So I don't judge someone on the basis of their race, creed or ethnic origin, but I do think that folks will naturally be much more likely to gravitate to someone more like themselves, rather than very different then themselves.
As a side note I will say that I have observed more black male - white female relationships than white male, black female relationships. I have often pondered why this is the situation ?
This will generate fodder for more discussions --- and there are other races and cultures out there to consider too --- hispnaic, latino, asian, east indian, native indian etc. etc. --- Lets stir up the gene pool.
Mike makes some very thought-provoking comments.
As a followup, let me suggest this: how would you respond if your child(ren) decided to date or marry outside their race? That, too, would be an interesting barometer of how far we have (or have not) come.
Just me,
Thats an easy answer. I don't have any children. I did ask that hypothetical question to my parents, however; and their response was --- "do you have something that you want to tell or share with us" ? then I told them of the native Jamaican woman that was interested in me and said that Jan / Feb might be a great time to go and visit the would be in laws every year. What if ?
Still no return call from Dr. Condi Rice yet.
(I'm not holding my breath on that one either )
Outside my own race I probably would be much more inclined to date Asian or Latino.
I will say at most of the Mixers' I have not seen much racial diversity and or otherwise cultural differences. So this may be only an intellectual exercise as
opposed to a real test case scenario.
"True beauty comes from the inside and radiates outward" but I have also heard the opposite to be true " Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes in all the way to the bone "
Just remember either way though "beauty" is subjective and influenced by many different factors -- So the moral to the story is " never sell yourself short " -- applies equally to women as it does the men.
Here's a great quote from TV writer Bernadette Luckett:
"I think we can agree racial prejudice is stupid. Because if you spend time with someone from another race and really get to know them, you can find other reasons to hate them."
No doubt we all agree that people should just be judged on the "content of their character" over anything else. And hopefully we can find something lovable in everyone.
Mike, I coulda bet you'd like Condi after she wore those boots! If only, if only...
I just think it's getting easier, although I live in a more racially diverse area than most of the world, so my experience may not be the norm.
AM,
Thanks for your thoughts on the subject. Yes---Condi in those jack boots was just a whimsical passing fantasy of mine.
You have the right idea though -- to look for the positive qualities in everyone first and then rule them out if they come off as being a racist. Racism does not discriminate, i.e, all colors are guilty of it.
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