I came back from a lovely holiday to write my next column for the print magazine's February issue: Planning a Local Wedding. Apparently, there are folks around us who are planning on getting married, despite all evidence to the contrary.
I thought: I bet you guys all have good stories to share about the first time you had to attend a wedding after the traumatic ending of a significant relationship.
How was that different or difficult?
Any funny stories, suggestions, or cautionary tales?
Was it different for the divorced, widowed, and never marrieds?
How are those differences similar?
Maybe your comments will be in the Singles Column in the February issue.
(As a side note, I am bumping my planned Single in Church column up another month. It has been difficult to do the necessary research during the holiday season and I want to present more local information.)
11 comments:
Hey AM,
Welcome back from the holidays.
I could relate to the joys and heartfelt part of the season plus sore shins from being soccer target practice at a New Year's function where a friend's daughter and niece tried my abilities as both the Goalie and the Referee.
Its Good thing they did not ask me to be Goalie for the dart team --- that probably would have left a lasting impression in/on me for a real "holey" season. ----- Sighhhh !!!!!!
Thanks for thinking of me in the Jan issue. Guess we'll all have to loose that weight to possibly be considered for the Feb "Nuptual Issue" No proposals yet (either way for me ) but we could also push that issue up to April 1 for much more needed time --- if you catch my drift.
In all seriousness though, the right one just has not come along, but I did attend a very nice wedding of a relative of mine back in Aug. so there was/is still an aura of romance in the air from back then -- my cousin and his new bride went to Santorini, Greece for their honeymoon and they did share their outdoor adventure pictures with the rest of the family --- a real cliffhanger, I might add !!!!
If you need more commentary for the proposed March 08 issue I know some folks who would be happy as a clam to share some more pearls of wisdom with you --- Mon Jan 14 at 6:30 PM
AM,
I was beginning to feel like the "Lone Ranger", the blog has been completely silent for about a week. and I am just getting over a cold so forgive me if I seem a little "horse" not to be confused with "Silver" a big horse of course we'll just have to save that Silver for the Nuptual Issue --- Tonto and Pocahahntas perhaps ? or just some more tribal confusion-as usual--- Sigh !!!!
AM,
Concerning the "single in church" piece you are working on it makes a whole lot of sense to me -- you get married, laid out and burried through the church including getting baptised in the church so why not also go there regularly, and learn something while you are there too. You might even be suprised what you can learn about yourself, your place in the Cosmos and in applying that to your faith. Heck, if the right one does eventually come along (consider them heaven sent) and there should be no disagreement as to where to hold the Wedding ceremony either-- thats a real plus.
AM,
Are you still out there ? and what has happened to everyone else too (bloggers)?
Hey Mike,
I think everyone is just digging out from under the holidays. It takes a lot of effort to take a few days off. Everything builds up, so there's a lot of catch up that takes precedent over blogging.
But hopefully Monday will put everyone in the mood to take some time off for a diversion once the work load is restored to its monotony.
So getting back to my original question...
Do you- or any of our lurkers - have an interesting story related to being single at a wedding? Or a significant moment?
Well AM...I can't claim to have ever been to a wedding single before. I have always had a significant other to go with me.
Hey AM and Money Girl,
Happy 08 to the both of you.
I have no idea why you used the phrase "digging out" we have had no ice or snow but lots of dark clouds and plenty of rain it seems.
I'd venture to say that most ladies would no go to a wedding solo unless of course they were one of the bridesmaids.
About 8 years ago while I was a guest at the Wyndham in Key West I was extended an invitation to attend a wedding reception by simply being a guest at the Hotel. The married couple actually invited me over to celebrate with them when they observed me by myself alone at the resorts poolside. I had a real blast as an " invited Wedding Crasher " -- probably the wierdest and funnest thing that ever happened to me.
The most awkward wedding event for me was being best man at my dad's second marriage, while at the same time going through my own divorce. But I have been to a few weddings since then... never once yelling out "Don't do it". :-) I did go alone to a wedding a few years ago... but I was with the Single Again group table, it was one of our "graduates" getting married. We all had a great time.
Markec,
Is that how you graduate from "Single Again" is to get married ? Perhaps instead you graduate from being married by moving ahead into being "Single Again" Its all relative or a matter of perspective I guess. Perhaps its just better to say that we are all in the recycling business and attempting to get rid of the all the impurities.
As I say---"a spouse can help you define your maximum potential but by the same token can also keep you from getting there."
Getting married is certainly no guarantee of happiness. I think for the marriage to work, you have to already be happy. So it is hard for me to withhold my snide, cynical comments sometimes. It's more full to have an ally.
I bet it could be fun to go to a stranger's wedding though. No expectations from anyone. No one to remind you of it later. As long as you have the nerve to enjoy yourself. It's awfully easy to remain safely quiet.
and geez Mark, I can't imagine a more difficult situation. I can't imagine composing a toast. What would you say?
AM,
Surely at the time you married, you both must have been happy. In most cases (I think) people start out happy they just end up growing apart over time (as opposed to growing together) it could be divergent interests or priorities in life. In a man's case a mid-life crisis usually results in them pursuing after someone younger without children ( So I have seen & heard ) but women too can also have their own version of a mid-life crisis.
That reception in Key West was a blast -- lots of very attractive, inteligent single women to chat and dance with. Problem was everyone at the function was from S. Carolina and I basically knew that after that reception was over we most likely would never cross paths again. It almost made me want to move to S. Carolina afterwards.
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