Do you still feel some pride when you tackle a task that your previous significant other always handled? It could be big, or it could be small. Or when you simply took on a problem that you would usually pass on to someone else - and you did it.
For example, having started out in Plan A as a fairly traditional household, I had never mastered the fine art of grilling. I had hardly ever grilled. I missed it, so I had to learn.
My first attempts drew a candid, "it's not as good as Daddy's." I was determined to do better.
The last time I served steaks, they were hailed as delicious. Another minor mission accomplished.
Next?
11 comments:
AM,
I'm used to it. I get grilled all the time.
In the past, for me contract work, long hours and frequent travel, not to mention temporary living arrangements and those long distance commutes from hell have all pretty well managed to keep me single.
When I retire in about 5 more years it would be kinda nice to stop and smell the roses and also truly share that same experience with someone else.
I never had an inferiority complex because I can do anything well enough, if I put my mind and energies into that specific task at hand. I don't need to seek someone elses approval because my own standards are high enough.
AM,
I'm waiting to see what you'll be able to pull off for February's experience/advice column.
The nuptual/bridal/wedding issue and being single are kinda like oil and water -- They don't mix.
I'm always perplexed why women settle on a certain man only to end up divorcing them in 3-5 years.
Another enigma is the serial marriage -- getting divorced and then re-marrying the same man.
AM,
Do I win anything if I identify the green and white stripped chair in this pic. The chair is sitting on some white sand in front of a colonial style homefront with a porch and what appears to be a tabletop grill.
"Home Sweet Home" with the sand trucked in ?
I actually pawned off the weeding on some other lucky soul.
The bridal topic was a challenge, but the blog comments helped among other things.
Taking on the tasks that your Ex used to handle can be daunting - especially when they all hit you at once. I hope some others let us hear what they took on.
AM,
Here is a little something for the folks who visit this blog, to "hold" them over until the March Mixer. This could also go in the Feb issue of Suburban Scene
Coffee House
Featuring: The Avalon Concert
via satellite
on Friday February 22nd
7:30 to 9:30 pm
Faith Community Church
1306 Riedel Rd Gambrills MD 21054
410-672-3698
Both singles & couples are invited
to come enjoy an evening of
music & fellowship.
AM,
Here is some marriage humor for the Feb issue.
I once thought about marriage and ran that idea by my pastor.
My pastor said to think of three things when getting married: I, you and the alter.
What he really meant to say was
" I'll alter you "
When I was married we moved from one coast to the other and back again. We lived in two new houses and a couple of rentals but never painted one wall to make it "ours." He just didn't like to paint.
After the divorce, when I bought myself another house, I knew I could paint every room a different color if that's what I wanted. And over the course of a year or so, that is exactly what I did.
I had a friend help on the first room, just because I had never painted a room, but after that, it was all my work.
I think the biggest challenge for me was doing the "honey do" list stuff that required power tools and such. I can remember doing everything myself when I first moved out of my parents after college. In fact the first house warming gift back then was from my mom. It was a set of tools. Somehow in the 6 years he and I were together, I simply pawned the household stuff on him.
Consequently I handled all the money type stuff like groceries, insurance, investment, etc. Whenever he got something in the mail or phone call that required patience and some brainpower, I was the one to handle it. He realizes that he's having to go back and do that stuff now that I'm not there to handle it for him.
It's kind of weird going back to being a one person household when you had someone to share responsibilities. It was so much easier to split the responsibilities and stick to what I was good at doing.
A couple of years after my divorce, my cats left a shredded bird on my back deck. A wise old friend witnessed my initial freak out and heard me say, "I wish I had someone to clean up the dead birds for me!"
She shook her head and said, "Honey, it is a lot easier to clean up your own dead birds." It has gotten easier too.
Often this seems wise, but it sure would be nice to share the load sometimes.
AVA (AVO),
Interesting tidbit on house painting. Of course soon, you and I are going to paint the town red (when the time comes of course). BTW I am not adverse to painting. I have been told by many I am such a colorfull personality and I don't brush people the wrong way so don't gloss, semi-gloss, or flat over that one.
AM,
Sounds to me like you cat's enjoy a hearty breakfast --- "shreaded tweet"
If they were blackbirds, I guess they are now "Blackend Decker".
What's the matter, cat got your tongue ?
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